redbrunja: (See Who I Am (Katara))
redbrunja ([personal profile] redbrunja) wrote2008-03-08 10:50 pm
Entry tags:

Fic: "I’ll Take You Where The Water’s Deep"

Title: I’ll Take You Where The Water’s Deep
Author: [personal profile] redbrunja
Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Rating: R for sexual themes.
Author’s Note: Sequel to “Or Else This Heat Might Turn To Frost”
Prompted by [profile] rashaka’s reminding me of how awesome and apropos this song is.  Written for [profile] zutara100, prompt 002. Ends
Summery: “When she was a child, she used to play with the lamp flames.” Katara tries to do the right thing.

“This was a mistake, and it’s over.”

And it was, and it is, and Katara knows she made the right decision.

When she was a child, she used to play with the lamp flames, before she realized that it caused the oil to vanish faster, and they didn’t have oil enough to spare, not just so she could get her fingers sooty while she waited on the endless Southern Winters. But she remembered how to do it; the trick was quickness. Katara would drag her fingers through the flame, fast, and there would be only a flicker of warmth over her unburned fingers.

Zuko was the same; the longer she circled around him, let herself be tempted and worse, let herself succumb, the more likely it would be that instead of walking away with sooty lips and hair snarled into knots from his hands, it would end badly, Sokka furious, her father disappointed, Aang betrayed.

She was a Master Bender of the Southern Water Tribe, and there was a difference between making a former enemy a begrudging ally (“Well, fine, if you really want to, you can heat up the dish water and I suppose it couldn’t hurt if you heated up the bathwater too–”) and willingly taking him (his lips on her neck, his exhale hot enough to raise blisters, hands gripping her hips hard enough to bruise) to her bed.

No, it was better to end it now, while no one knew, while there would be no awkward looks, no questions, no recriminations.

She lasted a week and a half.

Then Katara was slipping into his room as the sun first creep over the horizon, falling into his arms while light the color of honey filled his chamber.

He kissed her like she’d been years away, gone to fight in some horrific war, instead of having seen her ten hours ago at dinner.

This was a betrayal, she knew it was, but when Zuko was moving over her, as slow and steadfast as the sea on a summer day, she couldn’t care.

She choked on her sobs when she came and Zuko kissed the tears away from her cheeks and murmured promises she knew he’d die to keep.

Somehow, that just made it worse.

[identity profile] oyster-district.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 07:10 am (UTC)(link)
I like this one better than the previous one, because it has more visible imagery and Zuko feels more in character as does Katara -- he's desperately romantic and overwrought; she's unable to stop herself from doing things she knows/feels to be wrong (why hello there, waterbending scroll!). Also it's longer, so there's more room for that sort of thing.

Good job all 'round!

[identity profile] belle-favrielle.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 07:12 am (UTC)(link)
Ooo, I really like this. Especially how you described the morning like, for some reasong. I guess we don't get too many sex scenes written during the day. :P

[identity profile] belle-favrielle.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 07:13 am (UTC)(link)
Er, the morning LIGHT, I mean. Huuuur.

[identity profile] redbrunja.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 07:38 am (UTC)(link)
No problem, I got it. And no, usually sex is at night, but I really like the idea of Katara coming to him when he's at his strongest, instead of when she is. Plus, since she feels like she'd being weak...

Thanks for the review!

[identity profile] redbrunja.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 07:43 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, I'm glad - I was worried about the classic 'sequels are less awesome than the first one' thing, and I'm glad it worked.

he's desperately romantic and overwrought;

Oh, so much so. I almost flinch to think how in love he'd really liked who then showed him kindness back - he's reminds me of Spike in that way. And have I told you my pet fanon that Zuko would be quite happy making sweet, sweet vanilla-y love, and Katara's like, reading romance scrolls she steals from Iroh and going, 'hmmm, must try, that, and that, and I bet I can talk Zuko into that one...'

she's unable to stop herself from doing things she knows/feels to be wrong (why hello there, waterbending scroll!)

I also think that Katara has issues with doing things just for her - I don't think she (in her heart of heart) thinks it was really wrong to steal from pirates, but that her motivation was that SHE wanted it, and then her behavior later towards Aang....

Thanks for the review!
ext_10182: Anzo-Berrega Desert (Bite me. -Toph)

[identity profile] rashaka.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 08:39 am (UTC)(link)
She choked on her sobs when she came and Zuko kissed the tears away from her cheeks and murmured promises she knew he’d die to keep.

Oh man, I love that observation of Zuko... he is the sort who would only make promises like that if he sincerely meant to keep them. The boy is so devoted (look at how long he stayed loyal to Ozai), that if that devotion turned to a girl or a woman, and if he made her promises to that regard then I think he'd be completely serious about it. It's part of his whole "I must be honorable and keep my word" thing, which makes the betrayal of Iroh so ironic because Zuko never swore loyalty to his uncle, never outright like he owed his father. He betrayed Iroh emotionally but not technically, not in the literal sense of breaking any promises. Anyway, that's off-topic. I just mean that if Zuko says it, he means it. That's something I love about his character. I'd believe a vow from Zuko before a vow from Sokka. Although Sokka is probably more trustworthy in the overall sense and certainly more reasonable, I think Sokka would only metaphorically go to the ends of the earth whereas Zuko would show up 15,000 miles later with a retinue and an itinerary.

He kissed her like she’d been years away, gone to fight in some horrific war, instead of having seen her ten hours ago at dinner.

That's a lovely image.


Even though this still ends on an unhappy note for Katara, it feels more hopeful (and thus true to the characters, as these are good kids) than the previous one. Also, I'm a fan of the romantic inevitability narrative.
ext_10182: Anzo-Berrega Desert (Dragon lives forever-- not so little gir)

[identity profile] rashaka.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 08:40 am (UTC)(link)
YES! Exactly. That was my reaction too, everything you said, particularly the first few lines.
ext_10182: Anzo-Berrega Desert (roots are trees)

[identity profile] rashaka.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 08:46 am (UTC)(link)
I also think that Katara has issues with doing things just for her -

I think that based on Sokka's comments about their childhood in season 3 and based on Katara's frustrations in that same episode, it's safe to say that view is nearly canon for her. She is always being the responsible one-- therefore denying herself the right to do "fun" things, like using bending to con street people just for the thrill.

I don't think she (in her heart of heart) thinks it was really wrong to steal from pirates, but that her motivation was that SHE wanted it, and then her behavior later towards Aang....

I also don't think she really felt sorry about that. I think that, like most people, she learned the lesson that theft is unwise, which is quite a different lesson than theft is wrong. I think most people don't steal because it's not worth it to steal little crap, and it's immoral to steal the big crap, where both safety and morality become too significant to rationalize away.

ext_10182: Anzo-Berrega Desert (roots are trees)

Will you persist even after I bet you a billion dollars that I'll never love you

[identity profile] rashaka.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 08:56 am (UTC)(link)
Since it worked so well last time... Have you heard THIS (http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0FRODZIM) song? Here's what I recommend: fast forward to 1:36 and listen to the bridge in the middle of the song.

Will you persist even after I kiss you
goodbye for the last time
will you keep on trying
to prove it

He is rugged and long-lasting. Who Could ever ask for me? Love without complications galore.

[identity profile] redbrunja.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 09:08 am (UTC)(link)
Do you have a direct link to my iPod? We totally need to do a music swap sometime. And yes, I have heard that song, many, many, many times.

However, it is firmly a 'Buffy and her issues with men'/Gojyo x Yaone song for me - the tone is way to mechanic and modern for Avatar.

Try again.
ext_10182: Anzo-Berrega Desert (Default)

Re: He is rugged and long-lasting. Who Could ever ask for me? Love without complications galore.

[identity profile] rashaka.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 09:12 am (UTC)(link)
That's why I said fastforward and only listen to the bridge. I'm addicted to the bridge-- smitten, you might say. I once cut down the audio clip to just that section and emailed it to [livejournal.com profile] akavertigo to get her to write more for the sequel to Tempest In A Teacup... I think it ended up making her write something else, but there you go.

The rest of the song doesn't work, but the bridge I can totally match to them, especially in the context of this recent ficlet above. Getting bitter-er, are we, Katara? And he persists... and waits.

[identity profile] redbrunja.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 09:13 am (UTC)(link)
*nods*

Yeah, Katara's issues with always having to be responsible - or not her issues WITH it, because I think she gets a lot of her identity out of it - but that it's one of her issues is pretty much canon. (And one reason I'll never think Aang is good for her - after raising Sokka, Aang, and Toph, she needs someone who will take care of HER.)

I think that, like most people, she learned the lesson that theft is unwise, which is quite a different lesson than theft is wrong. I think most people don't steal because it's not worth it to steal little crap, and it's immoral to steal the big crap, where both safety and morality become too significant to rationalize away.

Well, I will argue that there is a large component of 'this is wrong' in why lots of people don't steal (for instance, I always knew I'd feel so guilty it was never worth it) but I think that a lot of the extenuating circumstances in that situation make it much, much easier. (Like, for instance, Katara had no problem stealing the scroll or stealing clothes, but I think if SHE had been faced with Song's ostrich-horse, the thought of taking it never would have occurred to her.)

[identity profile] redbrunja.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 09:19 am (UTC)(link)
he is the sort who would only make promises like that if he sincerely meant to keep them.

*nods* He's so that boy.

He betrayed Iroh emotionally but not technically, not in the literal sense of breaking any promises.

I know, he did, and I think that's one reason that he was so confused for so long (besides the writers being jackasses) because he couldn't understand feeling as bad as he did when he hadn't broken his word. I think Zuko has trouble with the concept of emotional truths and oaths, and that they, you know, even exist.

I think Sokka would only metaphorically go to the ends of the earth whereas Zuko would show up 15,000 miles later with a retinue and an itinerary.

This line make be laugh out loud. And is, so, so true. And part of that is there different personalities - Sokka is more about the big picture, while both Katara and Zuko are unable to NOT focus on the details. Like, I think Sokka would be a better tactician than Zuko, because Sokka would be able to say, 'okay, we're going to need to sacrifice these soldiers over here so we can win' while Zuko would be bending over backwards to find some way to get out of that choice. (And I'm assuming 'sacrifice these soldiers' as part of a valid strategy, not 'let's just throw there lives away, m'kay?')

He kissed her like she’d been years away, gone to fight in some horrific war, instead of having seen her ten hours ago at dinner.

That's a lovely image.


I'm glad you liked it - I worried about it being too one the nose, but I loved it too much not to add it in.

Also, I'm a fan of the romantic inevitability narrative.

You mean, the whole, I don't want to want you but I can't stay away? Yeah, I'm a sucker for that too.
ext_10182: Anzo-Berrega Desert (Bite me. -Toph)

[identity profile] rashaka.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 09:21 am (UTC)(link)
I think theft is one of those things where people's morals are often mixed with issues of opportunity and convenience... and either factor of morality or convenience has different weight depending on the context of any situation. Katara would see the immorality of stealing the only livestock animal of a small war-torn family, but she had no moral compunctions about stealing from people she judged as guilty. I think a lot of people don't steal for morality reasons and a lot don't steal because of fear of getting caught, but the line is different for every person. I lot of people will steal CDs but not cars, because morally they justify little theft as harmless (particularly stealing from a company not an individual) but would see a big theft as having a victim and thus more significant moral consequences. A second person might make the same decision for convenience reasons... a CD is easy, a car is too risky. Same decision, different reasoning. And people jump back and forth between the two.

A philosophical argument, and thus neverending. :)

Re: He is rugged and long-lasting. Who Could ever ask for me? Love without complications galore.

[identity profile] redbrunja.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 09:22 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, yes, the bridge is totally them. And you know once Zuko fell, and certainly once he got hints that she returned his feelings, he'd stick around, no matter how many good bye kisses he got.
ext_10182: Anzo-Berrega Desert (roots are trees)

icon match! yours makes me want to change mine back... two great poems; how to choose?

[identity profile] rashaka.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 09:29 am (UTC)(link)
I think Sokka would only metaphorically go to the ends of the earth whereas Zuko would show up 15,000 miles later with a retinue and an itinerary.
--
This line make be laugh out loud. And is, so, so true. And part of that is there different personalities - Sokka is more about the big picture, while both Katara and Zuko are unable to NOT focus on the details. Like, I think Sokka would be a better tactician than Zuko, because Sokka would be able to say, 'okay, we're going to need to sacrifice these soldiers over here so we can win' while Zuko would be bending over backwards to find some way to get out of that choice. (And I'm assuming 'sacrifice these soldiers' as part of a valid strategy, not 'let's just throw there lives away, m'kay?')


Glad to get a smile. :D I think Zuko would take an oath like that literally, and be surprised (and probably somewhat irked) to find out the person had meant it metaphorically. It's an exaggeration, but it works.

Excellent observation about the personalities... I think you're spot-on about the war/tactics example. Brings to mind Katara's "never turn my back on someone who needs me" claim... though Zuko *would* turn his back if he felt an overriding higher commitment, if he was in the situation you describe he'd do his best to not have to sacrifice people. The motivation's the same... focusing on the details instead of the broad picture. That's always been Zuko's problem, not seeing the big picture. He's getting wiser, though. :grin:

Lovely.

[identity profile] manonlechat.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 01:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Two mornings in a row! :D

To echo some of the praise above: loved the morning encounter (and YES, to her coming to him during his time of the day, so to speak, when she's weaker) and loved "murmured promises she knew he'd die to keep."

I also agree that Zuko would be a sweet, vanilla sex guy (and probably also one who equates sex with commitment? Which makes me worry that he may not break up with Mai afterall...?)

Thanks so much for another lovely Zutara drabble. Will there be another, Monday morning special to hope for? ;)

I can even take him in the bath!

[identity profile] renegadekitsune.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 03:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Really, that's just a fantastic song period. Oh how I love the Dresden Dolls..

As it were, Red, you've done it again and become my Favorite + infinity..Now you need to write a triqual..Or I will cry. We don't want me to cry now, do we?

Re: Lovely.

[identity profile] manonlechat.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 03:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah, but what if he DIDN'T have sex with Mai? ;)

THAT'S WHAT I KEEP HOPING! ;D

[identity profile] hyperion-rising.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 04:39 pm (UTC)(link)
This is just beautiful.

Re: Lovely.

[identity profile] redbrunja.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 05:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Very true. Plus, there was that letter. I totally don't think they actually had sex, for several reasons. (And for no one else is mentioned, what about Azula? I don't think she'd be comfortable with her subordinate doing something that might make Mai more loyal to Zuko than Azula.) But back to my point - hello, that letter? Was saying, I am sure, some variant of 'goodbye, this was nice, but it's over since I'm going off to teach the avatar firebending and stand up to my father.' So, in his mind a least, he doesn't have a girlfriend, and I highly doubt Mai would stick around if Zuko wasn't there was was against the fire nations. (Or in brief, to Mai Azula>Zuko.)

[identity profile] fairest1.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 06:20 pm (UTC)(link)
♥ ♥ ♥!!!!!

Re: waterbending scroll

[identity profile] oyster-district.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 07:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Agreed. *points at icon* I think that Katara is so used to doing for other people and being a good girl that she'll jump at the opportunity to put on a new identity, especially if it's to do something which she believes to be right, if a little outside law or convention. She believed stealing the scroll to be right, she believed healing the village to be right, and she was unconcerned with strategy or consequence.

Re: Lovely.

[identity profile] oyster-district.livejournal.com 2008-03-09 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
I've always assumed that whatever else was in the letter, the words "I'm not sure I'm coming back" were there, too. He offered to let the Gaang take him away in chains. He wouldn't have done so if he expected to be spending time with Mai in the near future.

Re: Lovely.

[identity profile] redbrunja.livejournal.com 2008-03-10 12:39 am (UTC)(link)
*nods*

I'm sure that whatever precisely was in that letter, at this point neither Mai nor Zuko thinks they're in a relationship anymore.

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