Open Letter To Community Fandom

Dear Community Fandom,

As delighted as I am that you seem sane and I haven't come across any pitched battles or (much) character-specific hatred, there are a few things we need to discuss:

1.) Why so PG, Jeff/Annie shippers? Seriously, stop with the fluff and the kissing! You're writing a pairing that has Jeff Winger in it! Whose crotch gets gold stars! I want raunchy, explicit sexings! Preferably in the Lexus. (Also, the Lexus? Is my favorite metaphor in Community and I want to do deviant, explicit, erotic things to it. The metaphor, not the car. In the car but to the metaphor. Oh, Lexus.)

2.) Jeff/Annie shippers, stop writing Britta ooc. You're annoying me so much I'm considering shipping Britta/Jeff just to spite you. Do you hear me? redbrunja , who cut her porntastic teeth on the May/December-ness of Kakashi/Sakura might not write porn for you. Also, fandom, don't hate Slater.

3.) Stop having Jeff express himself with words! He may have caught feelings (caught feelings bad! even though he used protection and everything!) but those feelings are not going to be verbalized in straightforward ways. Unless he's gotten drunk with Abed first. BUT PROBABLY NOT EVEN THEN.

Deep in the blush of new fandom love,
Red