All of it is good, and very well written of course. But I got hung up on this image: "Kakashi's mouth was open, tongue caught between his teeth." I've got a mirror nearby, and I've been making the described face, trying to decide if that's sexy or not.

And it's not. In fact, it's ridiculous. That Sakura got Kakashi worked up enough to be making ridiculous faces is the sexy part.

That detail blew my mind.