I'm going to agree with you that it depends on the author, and the majority of fanfic authors (whether het or yaoi) seem to have an issue with how they portray women. I think it's just that (from my perspective on it anyway) yaoi authors who come across with having a woman-issue usually seem to have it with *all* the female characters. Meanwhile the het authors are at least okay with *some* women (even if it's only with ones who are particularly nice, feminine, conventional, nonthreatening to their favorite het pairing, etc). Not that I want to read fic that villainizes any female character; fic that makes Ino into a worthless bitch to Sakura's saint, or vice versa, is just as icky as fic that portrays them both as anything more than horny fangirls jealous of NaruSasu True Love!
Also, to be fair, I don't really get into slash pairings. There's a few exceptions with either amazing chemistry or a dynamic that I really love seeing with some sexual tension thrown in...I just like girls too much and want them in the sex I'm reading about. So I dabble in yaoi at best, and sometimes it's easy to be scared away before you get a chance to uncover the good stuff when you run into enough of Girls Are Gross. So I only read slash by fanfic writers who I know wouldn't DO that, while I'm willing to wade through more crappy het fic.
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Also, to be fair, I don't really get into slash pairings. There's a few exceptions with either amazing chemistry or a dynamic that I really love seeing with some sexual tension thrown in...I just like girls too much and want them in the sex I'm reading about. So I dabble in yaoi at best, and sometimes it's easy to be scared away before you get a chance to uncover the good stuff when you run into enough of Girls Are Gross. So I only read slash by fanfic writers who I know wouldn't DO that, while I'm willing to wade through more crappy het fic.