Just.... No.

[redbrunja]

Breasts are lovely things and there are many nice, hot things you can do with boobs in an R-rated fic.

However, when writing smut, you should never, ever, ever have a line like

"He nursed on her breast like a starving infant."

Because I don't care how hot things were before, now they're in a creepy pedophilic place and there's just no regaining that spark.

First, when writing a sex scene, don't go from a 'lover' place to a 'mother-child' place- I don't even care if you're writing incest (which this wasn't).

Secondly, 'nursing a breast' (pauses to let brain implode) wouldn't feel that sexy, imho. Or at least, it sounds the utter opposite of sexy. Nuzzle a breast. Nibble a breast. Hell you can bite, suck, lave, pinch, tease a breast.

Just don't nurse one, unless you're actually an infant and need milk for sustenance.

Also, a grown man should not be doing anything to his bedmate 'like a starving infant.'

Comments

[pretentioustfu.livejournal.com]

Agreed. though I've written Vash in Trigun as dreaming of Rem like that, though without such a sucky line *no pun intended,* though his Oedipal issues aren't incest in that she was his teacher/guardian, they weren't even of the same species, and in manga canon, he's dreamed of her as a naked angel, so. . .

HTML hates on me today.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Were you trying to write a fluffy little bit of smut? The main problem is it's (such a bad line) really doesn't fit with the mood, and then completely throws me out of the fic, and, frankly, the way she was writing the character, the oedipal thing was ooc, becuase she hadn't worked with it before that one (aweful) line.

[pretentioustfu.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah. I can see the problem with how it would conflict with true fluff. When I wrote it, I hinted he wanted to do that with women (and it wasn't a graphic description, just kind of an offhand hint) because of his past issues in what was supposed to be a description in a multi-genre fic. (angst/psychodrama/horror/darkfic/with a yaoi romance eventually)

So yeah, I can understand your POV. If you were looking for true fluff with nothing else, that WOULD be disturbing.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Hints, that are creepy and in character? awesome.

It wasn't even that I was looking for fluff- I was looking for fic with a certain character and fluffy was what was there, and then there's this line that just pounced on me.

[pretentioustfu.livejournal.com]

Oh, OUCH. I can totally so get that. Tonight I was reading my flist, and saw a recced as "the smuttiest hot smut" fic for another fandom pop up (Gundam Wing) and the pairing was 1=2, which was reassuring since that = symbol traditionally means "equal pairing," and the only warning on it aside from the NC-17 rating was "spanking, etc." While it's not my kink, light spanking isn't also a huge squick for me, so I read on. . .

. . .To find seme Duo, uke Heero, all standard yaoi cliches in place, some really OOC dialogue cliches, almost *beating,* MAJOR D/s elements, and cock worship. Gragh. >_

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Oh man, that's even worse if it's been recced! When that happens your expectation get all raised, just to be crushed while your eyeball revolt in your head.

What is finding good smut so hard?

[pretentioustfu.livejournal.com]

*snicker* That was funny. ^_^

But yeah, it seems even harder, ironically, to find good smut for couples who *are* fairly equal and compatible if they're IC. I mean, Vash=Wolfwood is manga canon and finding a fic where one (usually Vash) isn't a helpless, weepy, yet pure as the driven snow uke-stereotype shell of his former self and the other (usually Wolfwood) is either a rapist seme or a cuddlebear seme who has no disagreeable traits at all and is always a rock of strength for his beloved uke *gags* And I won't even start on Heero=Duo, which no one can seem to write IC anymore at all.

[pretentioustfu.livejournal.com]

Argh typos. That should teach me to play WoW as I post. "and finding a fic IS HARD" and "ISN'T either a rapist seme or a. . . and"

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that sounds really frustrating. Equality between lovers is one of my kinks, but no one seems to write it anymore. Don't worry about they typos- I make mistakes like that all the time. I can't imagine how hard it is with slash where there's set sterotypes that people like to use over and over.

[pretentioustfu.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah. I'm weird in that I like only either equality between couples OR entirely, admittedly fucked-up messes of pairings, and being someone pretty aware of gender issues, it's one reason I'm VERY selective on what het I like. It's even worse there than it is in slash, IMO, since a lot of writers go for either what I call the Suvian fallacy ("she's a girl, so she's just like me!") or the application of stereotypes that match the gender, but not the character (such as having a strong female character suddenly go all woobie and zomghelovesmeee because a man told her to shut up and leave him alone, or characterizing her as emotional and helpless, I've seen fic women who make weepy ukes look good *coughcough Meryl in 80 percent of Trigun fic*)

And yeah, it's pretty bad for het and slash alike. Once I thought maybe it was just my fandom since it's pretty attractive to people who *don't* want to consider how the writer subverted gender and orientation stereotypes and how it's now more sci-fi than the space western it started as and want to write traditional western. . . but it happens in almost every fandom I've seen.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

I haven't had too much trouble with het getting all out of character, but then I have some fandoms (like FMA) with some really good het writers. I mean, really good.

I've heard a lot of people who complain about the top/bottem dynamic in slash, and I think part of that is due to the inevidablity of someone being desinated that way if there's penetration.

[pretentioustfu.livejournal.com]

By the way, you seem like a fairly cool person. Mind if I friend you? Just tell me which of the filters you want to be on (fandom, personal, or both, though the great majority of my posts will be fandom), and I'll add you if you want. ^_^

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Oh, please, friend away! I've added you, and if you could put me on both fandom and personal that'd be great.

[pretentioustfu.livejournal.com]

*adds you to both* ^_^

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

No pun intended.