Actually, would you mind further discussion on rape/dubcon in fiction? Because it's something I've been wondering about. Like, I've read the 'women gets sex/sexual pleasure but doesn't have to ASK for it, thus avoiding the stimaga of being called a 'slut' which, to me, makes a lot of sense, but I've also heard people do, 'it's not that simple' and then not elaborate. So, what is your take on the prevalence of rape fantasies?
No I wouldn't mind further discussion at all. It's actually a really interesting subject to me since it's a fantasy that I enjoy...well, I'm more into the dubcon / forced seduction than the outright rape since if the woman doesn't ever enjoy it to any degree, I mean, it's hardly a turn-on. I've heard that theory as well, and it makes sense to a point; still though I think that simplifies it to a matter of "society made us like it!" which bothers me a bit; though of course society shapes our psyches & sexuality a shitfuckton and more women seem to have the fantasy of being raped than do men, certainly that must have to do with society.
The other theory on it that I've heard goes off the fact that hey, this is fantasy. Women who fantasize about rape don't actually want to be raped; they don't want to have NO FUCKING CONTROL over what is happening. The creator of the rape fantasy is in absolute control over a fantasy version of an act that by definition takes away all her control. And hey, this act is something that is way too real in women's lives - I've heard statistics like 1 in 4? US women will be sexually assaulted in their lives. (Not to be all TMI here, but since it goes along with the discussion, I'll mention that it almost happened to me - I wasn't raped but I gave a guy a blowjob because I knew he would rape me if I didn't, and I think on some subconscious level I recognized that that was the only way to maintain some control in the situation). If a writer hasn't personally been assaulted most likely a friend or family member has been. So, the theory goes, this is a way to assert control over a fear that hits close to home.
I've also heard a theory (this one spoken re: old skool romances being chockfull of forced seduction and even outright rape) that the fantasy is that the man is so overcome by desire that he can't stop even if she says no. Real rape is more about expressing power via sex than actual desire, but this IS fantasy.
My favorite theory is the subversion of fear / power dynamics that go along with dubcon / forced seduction / rape fantasies.-I'm guessing that's part of why I personally like a bit of dubcon now and again. But we are talking about a lot of women, so I'm sure that it's impossible to explain with one tidy theory. And then there are men with rape fantasies, by which I mean men who fantasize about being raped - of course men are raped, but they don't grow up with the same atmosphere of fear of rape that women do. So what is that about? Is it linked to the same thing that leads some successful dominant men to seek out dominatrixes?
Wow this is almost an essay
No I wouldn't mind further discussion at all. It's actually a really interesting subject to me since it's a fantasy that I enjoy...well, I'm more into the dubcon / forced seduction than the outright rape since if the woman doesn't ever enjoy it to any degree, I mean, it's hardly a turn-on. I've heard that theory as well, and it makes sense to a point; still though I think that simplifies it to a matter of "society made us like it!" which bothers me a bit; though of course society shapes our psyches & sexuality a shitfuckton and more women seem to have the fantasy of being raped than do men, certainly that must have to do with society.
The other theory on it that I've heard goes off the fact that hey, this is fantasy. Women who fantasize about rape don't actually want to be raped; they don't want to have NO FUCKING CONTROL over what is happening. The creator of the rape fantasy is in absolute control over a fantasy version of an act that by definition takes away all her control. And hey, this act is something that is way too real in women's lives - I've heard statistics like 1 in 4? US women will be sexually assaulted in their lives. (Not to be all TMI here, but since it goes along with the discussion, I'll mention that it almost happened to me - I wasn't raped but I gave a guy a blowjob because I knew he would rape me if I didn't, and I think on some subconscious level I recognized that that was the only way to maintain some control in the situation). If a writer hasn't personally been assaulted most likely a friend or family member has been. So, the theory goes, this is a way to assert control over a fear that hits close to home.
I've also heard a theory (this one spoken re: old skool romances being chockfull of forced seduction and even outright rape) that the fantasy is that the man is so overcome by desire that he can't stop even if she says no. Real rape is more about expressing power via sex than actual desire, but this IS fantasy.
My favorite theory is the subversion of fear / power dynamics that go along with dubcon / forced seduction / rape fantasies.-I'm guessing that's part of why I personally like a bit of dubcon now and again. But we are talking about a lot of women, so I'm sure that it's impossible to explain with one tidy theory. And then there are men with rape fantasies, by which I mean men who fantasize about being raped - of course men are raped, but they don't grow up with the same atmosphere of fear of rape that women do. So what is that about? Is it linked to the same thing that leads some successful dominant men to seek out dominatrixes?