Whooooa... *fans self* You created nymph goo. Which, actually, sounds kinda gross.
I really love when you write smut like this. It's dirty and base and the emotions are just straight up gritty. It's incredibly raw but still somehow manages to be sexy.
I know you mentioned something about tensing but I honestly didn't notice anything really odd. You switched where you were supposed to switch. There was only one part that read odd as far as tenses, but since you warned for it I assumed you did it on purpose. And so long as the long sentences work... go for it. I like the way the narrative strings out smoothly. It gives it a rushed, quick-fuck feel, which is appropriate since that's what they're doing.
But I swear to god... she better fucking ditch the Uchiha and his fancy ring. Lord knows he'd NEVER fuck her on a muddy, rain soaked training field.
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I really love when you write smut like this. It's dirty and base and the emotions are just straight up gritty. It's incredibly raw but still somehow manages to be sexy.
I know you mentioned something about tensing but I honestly didn't notice anything really odd. You switched where you were supposed to switch. There was only one part that read odd as far as tenses, but since you warned for it I assumed you did it on purpose. And so long as the long sentences work... go for it. I like the way the narrative strings out smoothly. It gives it a rushed, quick-fuck feel, which is appropriate since that's what they're doing.
But I swear to god... she better fucking ditch the Uchiha and his fancy ring. Lord knows he'd NEVER fuck her on a muddy, rain soaked training field.