I think where you're uncertain about my comments is that you seem to be reading it as "not something" means "the oppositie of something. Saying that women talking about men and their secuality and how they're interesting isn't automatically feminist (as fandom tends to portray it) is not saying that it's misogynistic, nor does it mean that a person whose main interest in fandom is m/m slash can't be feminist.
And keep in mind that when men and women express interests, they're expressing them from completely different sets of cultural baggage and expectations, just like a man cooking (that is, doing something traditionally regarded as a female role) carries a completely different weight, and is received far differently, from a female undercover agent (a traditionally male role.) For that matter, compare the number of successful movies about men bonding with or caring for children, or having to adjust to some degree of domesticity that requires them, to some degree, to take up a traditionally female role or task to the number of suscessful movies about female spies, action heroines (overtly secualized or otherwise), female pirates, female buddy cops, and female adventurers. That is, women taking on traditionally male roles and narratives. The simple fact is that male development, exploration, and appropriation is still considered to be the norm, and the default, while female development, exploration and appropriation is treated as an afterthought.
ETA: Another thing to keep in mind is that slash (as manifested in fandom) is a sexual kink or interest combined with a character and/or narrative interest. Feminism is a way of thinking and approaching life. There is, in essence, absolutely no correlation between the two. They can coexist in harmony, they can coexist in antagonism, and they can exist in the complete absence of the other. It's the individual (or, more often, I think, fandom hivemind) that connects them.
no subject
And keep in mind that when men and women express interests, they're expressing them from completely different sets of cultural baggage and expectations, just like a man cooking (that is, doing something traditionally regarded as a female role) carries a completely different weight, and is received far differently, from a female undercover agent (a traditionally male role.) For that matter, compare the number of successful movies about men bonding with or caring for children, or having to adjust to some degree of domesticity that requires them, to some degree, to take up a traditionally female role or task to the number of suscessful movies about female spies, action heroines (overtly secualized or otherwise), female pirates, female buddy cops, and female adventurers. That is, women taking on traditionally male roles and narratives. The simple fact is that male development, exploration, and appropriation is still considered to be the norm, and the default, while female development, exploration and appropriation is treated as an afterthought.
ETA: Another thing to keep in mind is that slash (as manifested in fandom) is a sexual kink or interest combined with a character and/or narrative interest. Feminism is a way of thinking and approaching life. There is, in essence, absolutely no correlation between the two. They can coexist in harmony, they can coexist in antagonism, and they can exist in the complete absence of the other. It's the individual (or, more often, I think, fandom hivemind) that connects them.