Written quickly, first fanfic of this genre....not sure if this is what you were looking for...
I stare at Gale's face, his scared hands, and think he is so unlike Peeta. My brows crease at this thought. I still do not know if he is alive. I hope he is alive. I need him to be alive. The kiss back in the arena, changed everything for me. I couldn't sleep last night, and woke up to the ear piercing sound of someone screaming-me. Gale came right to my side-telling me something, something that might of calmed me down if this was just a nightmare, but this is my life.
Gale is not the same as Peeta.
I whisper to Gale, in jagged breaths, that I will be ok, that he can leave now. He doesn't. There is no way to tell him my nightmare, tell him how tonight, I saw myself as a mutt from my first games. And I was killing everyone I was every attached to. My mother, Prim, Rue, Madge, Thresh, Gale, my District 12 family, Cinna...and Peeta. I can still hear him cry out in pain. I had lost myself in the games. Turned into some cannibalistic monster. The very thing Peeta was worried about so long ago. Gale has drifted off to sleep in a chair by my bed. I am finally let alone with my thoughts.
The thin blanket that covers my body doesn't conceal my perturbing ribs.
I do not look pregnant.
And for the first I wish I was. It would mean I had finally gotten over my confusion between Gale and Peeta. Mean that we had happy times together, and that there a was a time we thought we had a future.
I start biting my nails. I must find Peeta, he has to know I am alive--and that I Love him. He had to know, wherever he his, that him being alive means that I can live also. He is the only one who can protect me and keeps the nightmares at bay. I want him by my side, forever. I know that now.
Gale and I were once two birds of a feather-but I am different now. The things in the games change you. Gale and I fit once, but now I am an entirely different shape-one that has jagged edges and doesn't know if she is good or what to do sometimes. But Peeta does, his edges are rough, they were torn during the games-but he matches me. And he has the insane ability to know right and wrong, and what to do and how to talk. He is so pure, and we fit. Peeta and I.
I wish I had realized this sooner, he needs to know I love him, and somewhere deep down I think i have always loved him.
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timeasmymeasure
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I stare at Gale's face, his scared hands, and think he is so unlike Peeta. My brows crease at this thought. I still do not know if he is alive. I hope he is alive. I need him to be alive.
The kiss back in the arena, changed everything for me. I couldn't sleep last night, and woke up to the ear piercing sound of someone screaming-me. Gale came right to my side-telling me something, something that might of calmed me down if this was just a nightmare, but this is my life.
Gale is not the same as Peeta.
I whisper to Gale, in jagged breaths, that I will be ok, that he can leave now. He doesn't.
There is no way to tell him my nightmare, tell him how tonight, I saw myself as a mutt from my first games. And I was killing everyone I was every attached to. My mother, Prim, Rue, Madge, Thresh, Gale, my District 12 family, Cinna...and Peeta. I can still hear him cry out in pain.
I had lost myself in the games. Turned into some cannibalistic monster. The very thing Peeta was worried about so long ago.
Gale has drifted off to sleep in a chair by my bed. I am finally let alone with my thoughts.
The thin blanket that covers my body doesn't conceal my perturbing ribs.
I do not look pregnant.
And for the first I wish I was.
It would mean I had finally gotten over my confusion between Gale and Peeta. Mean that we had happy times together, and that there a was a time we thought we had a future.
I start biting my nails. I must find Peeta, he has to know I am alive--and that I Love him. He had to know, wherever he his, that him being alive means that I can live also. He is the only one who can protect me and keeps the nightmares at bay. I want him by my side, forever. I know that now.
Gale and I were once two birds of a feather-but I am different now. The things in the games change you. Gale and I fit once, but now I am an
entirely different shape-one that has jagged edges and doesn't know if she is good or what to do sometimes. But Peeta does, his edges are rough, they were torn during the games-but he matches me. And he has the insane ability to know right and wrong, and what to do and how to talk. He is so pure, and we fit. Peeta and I.
I wish I had realized this sooner, he needs to know I love him, and somewhere deep down I think i have always loved him.