The writers and I have a very different idea of what constitutes "treats her right." (Actually, I'm reading the first book now and am shocked at, uhm, liking Matt. Who starts off sweet and understanding about bewing dumped, instead of "hey, your parents have been dead for three months so you've totally had plenty of time to grieve and so should automatically date me again."

I don't think the writers consciously think it's their fault and do think the exact opposite (Exept for Bree. IMO, that's when the show stopped taking his actions seriously.) but I also think it's written with a subconscious awareness of that cultural conditioning, and I think the "vampire badboy" character type tends to really bring that out in fiction.