I watch the show in such piecemeal that I don't settle into 'this is the way things are' - every other time they pull something typical for them, I have a moment where I squint at the screen and go '...seriously?' but it's practically background noise now.

Agreed. Also, this is a case where I wonder how much/if any the actors (apparently) loving relationship/marriage effects the writers' perception of the fictional relationship? I mean, I'm sardonically inclined to think not at all and Bill x Sookie would be this fucked up as long as the same people were writing it, but maybe...

On the other hand, father --> daughter abuse/neglect has, I think, less of a well-entrenched history and context of 'oh, isn't he an adorably maladjusted but sekritly great guy' so while it's not as much of a hot button, I also haven't built up a tolerance for it.

True. Additionally, Jessica is pretty much constantly seeking knowledge and affirmation from just about everyone around her, and is CLEARLY hurting for what Bill isn't giving her... while Sookie is like, 'la, la, Bill is love!'