It's hard not to be bitchy and depressed when the good things seem so small and far apart. I try to cling to the little joys that pop up, but letting them go hurts something aweful.


I think I'd blow a gasket if Kanzeon ever showed up. I love her too, but she'd drive me batty. Then again, I wonder if that what my gods are doing: Making my life hell to make me better. I just wish I knew what the plan is. Nothing like striving for a goal when you don't even know what the goal is.