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I Just Wanted To Know What Kind Of Vegetarian She Was!
I was at my childhood home last weekend, and my mother and I had a friend over for dinner.
As my mom and I were making dinner, I was stealing shrimp for shrimp foo young (and sidenote, dropped one down my shirt and IT VANISHED INTO MY CLEAVAGE NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN, I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING) I go, "wait, isn't friend-we're-having-for-dinner-a-vegetarian?'
Mom: Yeah, she's a vegetarian but she eats seafood.
Me: I'm sorry, but that is not being a vegetarian.
Mom: But it's just fish. If I was a vegetarian, that's the kind of vegetarian I'd be.
Me: Fish and shrimp are animals, mom! They count.
Mom: You're right.
[long pause]
Me: So I was reading about the siege of Leningrad, and did you know that cannibalism was so prevalent that the police had a special division to try and stop it?
Mom (disgusted): Really?
Me: I wonder if I would eat human flesh to survive. I want to say no, but...
Mom: ...you're hesitating.
Me: I mean, if I was starving, and my neighbor was already dead right across the hall... I'd probably eat them.
Mom: I wouldn't! How do you live with that afterwards? ...unless I had kids who were starving. Then I'd probably feed them human flesh. But I'd lie, I'd say it was rat.
Me: This probably wasn't the best conversation to have before dinner, was it?
As my mom and I were making dinner, I was stealing shrimp for shrimp foo young (and sidenote, dropped one down my shirt and IT VANISHED INTO MY CLEAVAGE NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN, I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING) I go, "wait, isn't friend-we're-having-for-dinner-a-vegetarian?'
Mom: Yeah, she's a vegetarian but she eats seafood.
Me: I'm sorry, but that is not being a vegetarian.
Mom: But it's just fish. If I was a vegetarian, that's the kind of vegetarian I'd be.
Me: Fish and shrimp are animals, mom! They count.
Mom: You're right.
[long pause]
Me: So I was reading about the siege of Leningrad, and did you know that cannibalism was so prevalent that the police had a special division to try and stop it?
Mom (disgusted): Really?
Me: I wonder if I would eat human flesh to survive. I want to say no, but...
Mom: ...you're hesitating.
Me: I mean, if I was starving, and my neighbor was already dead right across the hall... I'd probably eat them.
Mom: I wouldn't! How do you live with that afterwards? ...unless I had kids who were starving. Then I'd probably feed them human flesh. But I'd lie, I'd say it was rat.
Me: This probably wasn't the best conversation to have before dinner, was it?
no subject
If they eat fish they're called pescetarians. I'm not sure about the shrimp/other seafood though, since those would technically be bivalves or crustaceans, so there might be another name for it when it's more than just fish.
no subject
If they eat fish they're called pescetarians.
Oooh, thanks for the info!
...Except now you have to wonder about every time she gave you steak when you were little...
Well, we were never even close to starving, so I think I'm safe.