OMGWTFBBQ?

[redbrunja]

I found (via yakuko) the quiz most likely to create massively bad self-insert Naruto fics ever:

 

What Do Naruto Characters Think of You(For Girls)(With Detailed Explanations + your love life)(updated) by HajimeNoOwari
Enter Your Name
Your Age
Naruto	got a nosebleed when he first saw you in your black and white ninja outfit, he thinks you are hotter than hot and constantly tries to get your attention
Sasuke	would like to kiss you so badly but his damn pride won't let him
Sai	can't get rid of you. You made it your mission to make him feel. You have succeeded more than several times but Sai doesn't let you know. Either because he doesn't want to admit he can feel or because he knows you would leave if he told you...
Gaara	likes you and although you can't see it, when he is with you he almost smiles
Neji	thinks you are both strong and hot but believes you would never settle with someone from lower branch
Shikamaru	thinks girls are troublesome especially you (you made him admit he liked Temari)
Kiba	knows you are a cat lover and is constantly trying to make you like dogs better
Shino	respects you because you are strong and you can make him laugh (but constantly threatens that if you tell anyone he can laugh it will be the end of you)
Kakashi	thinks you are a great student, although you don't like teamwork you look after your teammates and are very strong with much potential
Kabuto	thinks you are to nice for your own good but likes you nonetheless
Orochimaru	asked you if you'd like him to show you what else his tongue is good for
Itachi	is your partner, you two are both silent, calm and deadly. You aren't social and to a naked eye seem to be just partners sharing the bond of silence. But if you look deeper you would see you really care for each other and would willingly die to protect one another. And on the cold nights when nobody is around there is a great way of sharing body heat you two practice. ;)
Kisame	hates you for calling him fish-face, sharky, sushi and other fish related names
Deidara	is constantly nagging you to let him sculpt you
Sasori	thinks he should have thought twice about making himself into a puppet
Your Splecial Traits	loner, emo, shy, innocent, naive, the last thing your opponents see
Your Soulmate	Shikamaru, you are both lazy and laid back
Who You End Up With And How You Met	Naruto - you met in the Ramen bar and discovered you both share common goals and dislike of Sasuke
How You Die	of old age

And can I just add some commentary?

This is the most accurate:

Kakashi: thinks you are a great student, although you don't like teamwork you look after your teammates and are very strong with much potential

Because if I was in a gennin team, I would most likely be the annoying prodigy who's all, "seriously, I have to work with these people? Can't I just do it by myself?" which is what happens most often when I get group work.

That said.... WHAT FUCKING CRIME DID I COMMIT THAT SHIKAMARU IS MY SOULMATE! SERIOUSLY! WAS IT ALL THE BITCHING ABOUT AANG AND SASUKE THAT I DO? BECAUSE THAT IS RIGHTEOUS BITCHING MY FRIENDS!

And Naruto? I end up with Naruto? Fuck the what? I have no words for how painfully wrong that is. Do you know why I'd die of old age? Because after thirty seconds of listening to him, I'd smother Naruot to death, and then kick his corpse in a pile of bloody flesh and broken bone for stealing Sakura's powers.

Righteous ass kicking: my ninja way.

And by the way, I would never all Kisame fishface. I like Kisame. And I would only count as innocent and naive in the most literal and technical of ways. (But I totally would be the last thing my opponent sees, none of that 'let them live to try and get revenge crap in my manga.)

I could do go for some insanely over the top, ridiculous number of orgasms, fun-with-sharingan-sex with Itachi, though.
 

Comments

[mistaria.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, Kakashi was my soulmate. But I ended up with Sasori. ::gag::

This meme almost made me hate myself and shout, "You disgusting Sue!" ::shudders::

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Cho Hakkai is my soul mate. But Kakashi is the one person in Naruto who could maybe convince me otherwise.

I know! I felt so dirty doing this meme.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

I deserve them! Fucking Naruto.

And it's too bad Kiba has a penis.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Yeah, sure you do.

And I am really sad that Suigetsu, Karin, and Juungo weren't on this list.

[mzminola.livejournal.com]

I dunno about Shikamaru, but it does say you and Naruto bond over a dislike of Sasuke, and I know you two both like Sakura...not romantic partners, but drinking buddies.

I can see it now, the two of you irritated by your teammates, furiously eating ramen, and get into a fight over some condiment. Ranting about Sasuke ensues.

Eventually, your wandering feet lead you away from the ramen bar, and to a classic bar. Naruto turns into a morose drunk pretty quick, sighing deeply over Sakura. You sympathize, and with the addition of alcohol, are full of That's Good Idea! suggestions. Like a good way to impress Sakura would be not to use her powers, right, and to admit great admiration for said powers.

Within a few weeks, the ramen-fights and drunken musings turn into a regular event for you to. Sakura, busy training, hasn't given a thought to Naruto, and he's in a deeper funk then ever. You sling an arm over his shoulders, "I hear ya buddy, I hear ya," and suggest maybe Sakura likes more...mature guys, older maybe. And that Hinata girl's cute, isn't she?

~
And on that note, I'm off to class.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

That could work... that could work damn well...

You know, I can handle being drinking buddies with Naruto - I'd get to beat him up, yet no touching of personal areas.

This made me totally lol, and enderxenocide was reading over my shoulder and cackling.

[mzminola.livejournal.com]

I was giggling as I typed. Glad you like it.

Since I don't/can't drink, I think I'd like to be work-out buddies with Naruto. He'd do a lot better, which would piss me off, but I get the feeling he'd be really encouraging.
Plus I could ruffle his hair. That's really the draw.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Naruto would be an AWESOME work out buddy.

[ivy-chan.livejournal.com]

You know what, I would rather like Naruto. At least he seems to have potential to grow up to be a decent guy and is loyal to a fault, unlike some other people I could name. No naming names or anything, but...funky eyes, black hair, generates his own cloud of angst wherever he goes. The problem with Naruto is that he seems like a great friend, a good person, but a shitty boyfriend.

I end up with Kisame, who is apparently afraid of me ever since I tried to make a stew out of him while he was asleep. I maintain that it was a common mistake. (You don't know how good shark-fin stew IS, okay?)

Poor Kisame. Did anyone get something good about him?

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

No, nobody got something good about Kisame, and it's pissing me off!

And Naruto would be such a shitty boyfriend. He'd be a better drinking buddy, though, as mzminola so thoughtfully described for me.

(And I don't think Kisame is the type to complain if you want to eat him while he's asleep... in the beginning... bow-chicka-wow-wow.)

[digthenym.livejournal.com]

LMAO dear god did this brighten my day. (Nym + Kabuto = twu lub apparently since we're both polite XD)

What was with the Kisame hate? He's one of the nicest S-ranked homocidal batshit crazy missing ninja around.

Naruto would be awesome as a BFF, but dating him would make me want to claw my eyes out with a blunt object :o)

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

enderxenocide would be so jealous - she wanted Kabuto and ended up with Shino, which is still far, far superior to what I got.

And I don't understand the Kisame hate - I'd date him far, far sooner than I would most of the rest of the cast.

Dating Naruto would make me craw HIS eyes out.

[strange_quark]

Apparently, Kakashi is my soulmate and I end up with Orochimaru DDDDD:

*winces* That is extremely unfortunate.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Lucky girl.

[oceansex.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, I saw this and had to try it, lol. And I just thought I'd brag share that though Gaara is my soulmate (because I'm love deprived and misunderstood apparently), I end up with Kakashi because I "fought him for the last Icha Icha Paradise book on the bookstore shelf", which I so totally would, lol.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Lucky girl.

[okroginator.livejournal.com]

I could do go for some insanely over the top, ridiculous number of orgasms, fun-with-sharingan-sex with Itachi, though.

ME TOO. (AFTER WE, UH, GET MARRIED.)

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

WHO WOULD SAY NO TO THAT?

[strange_quark]

Naruto? I don't think the kid would last a week in that relationship.

I dunno, he's the sort of person I'd love to hang around with and make fun of people with and get drunk and giggle about inappropriate things with. Not exactly a person I'd date.

Righteous ass kicking: my ninja way.

Most awesome ninja way ever? I think so.

I could do go for some insanely over the top, ridiculous number of orgasms, fun-with-sharingan-sex with Itachi, though.

Can I join? Erm I mean Me next. RAWR.

He is a scary-ass motherfucker, but he is hot. As. Sin.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

He wouldn't. He so, so wouldn't.

Most awesome ninja way ever? I think so.

Yeah, screw all the never give up crap - I am ALL about the well deserved violence.

He is a scary-ass motherfucker, but he is hot. As. Sin.

Oh, Itachi.

[pyxis-lynx.livejournal.com]

poor kisame... in mine he's afraid of me because I had tried to make a stew out of him D: and regarding naruto, if ever he's in a relationship, I could picture him as the ever good guy and and he'll forgive you even if you cheat on him a thousand times lol

I took the meme and I got kakashi as my soulmate (yaay!) because apparently, we're both perverted. But then again I end up with farking Orochimaru, gaah, because he put a curse on me D8

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

But see! That's the thing - I don't want to be the drunk girl hanging out in bars picking up sleazy men to cheat on my annoying boyfriend with, and that is totally what would happen if Naruto and I dated!

And you got hella luck on the soulmate front

....wonder if I can borrow him for a one night stand.

[pyxis-lynx.livejournal.com]

I don't want to be the drunk girl hanging out in bars picking up sleazy men to cheat on my annoying boyfriend with

even if that sleazy guy is kakashi? XD

....wonder if I can borrow him for a one night stand.

just don't get caught by me LOL

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

If the sleazy guy was Kakashi.... okay, yeah, I'd hit that.

[lynnxlady.livejournal.com]

God, that's a terrible meme. According to it, Shikamaru "admires the way you shove Ino around" which is LOLcrap. Any true Sue of mine would be begging Ino to shove her around. If you catch my drift.

But still, this last section is pretty hilarious:

Your Soulmate: Itachi, you are both cold and deadly
Who You End Up With And How You Met Orochimaru - he put his curse on you while he was at Chuunin exams
How You Die Itachi gets fed up with your annoying attitude

Death by soulmate, the only way any Itachi romance could end. And god, my Sue got fucked on Love Interests, poor girl.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Oh, I catch you drift wide and clear.

And yeah, I didn't too that great on this qiuz either. And you're right, death by soulmate is how any relationship with Itachi would end.