I Don't Go To Sleep To Dream

[redbrunja]

I can't remember who I gacked this from, but it was quite fun:

Naruto Crack Pairing Meme:

(list your 12 favorite characters and then answer the questions behind the cut)

1. Kakashi
2. Sakura
3. Tsunade
4. Hinata
5. Suigetsu
6. Karin
7. Sai
8. Anko
9.  Kushina
10. Jiraiya
11. Ino
12. Chouji

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven (Karin/Ino) fan-fic before?

Actually, yes. (Thanks a million, bellzooks !) And it was hot, too.

2. Do you think Four (Hinata) is hot? How hot?

Dude, Hinata is stacked. And awesome. How could I not find her hot?

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

If Chouji got Anko pregnant... that poor boy. For one thing, I honestly don't think he could handle Anko. Besides which, Iruka would kill him, and after that, Itachi would be waiting in the afterlife to fuck Chouji's head up.

4. Do you recall any fan-fics about Nine (Hinata)?

So much yes. "Rosemary For Remembrance" and "Prison Keys " are favorites of mine.

5. Would Two (Sakura) and Six (Karin) make a good couple?

A world of no. Karin has the morals of an ally cat, and while I love her for it, Sakura has been screwed up enough by betrayers. Secondly, I can't see them respecting each other without years of working together, and even then I still don't think they'd like each other enough to be in even a semi-functional relationship, and honestly, I don't think Karin could deal with a kunoichi whose every talent is like Karin's... only better.

6. Five/Nine (Suigetsu/Kushina)  or Five/Ten (Suigetsu/Chouji)?

Is neither an option? I mean, I can't see Suigetsu/Kushina working. Like, at all. Ever. First of all, I like to think Naruto's parents loved each other greatly, and after that I'm all about the Kushina/Kakashi, and the other option is slash.

7. What would happen if Seven (Sai) walked in on Two (Sakura) and Twelve (Chouji) having sex?

"Why, Sakura, I would never have thought you would find a fat-ass like him aesthetically pleasing."

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten (Tsunade/Jiraiya) fanfic.

The fact that I've written a number of them makes this a bit harder, somehow. Hmmm.... "Jiriaiya is everything Dan is not, and Tsunade tell herself that is why it is so very easy use him to him to dull the pain. They're nothing alike, nothing, and if they both run their hands down to cup her ass to press her against them in the exact same reverent way, well, that is just because they're both the same height, and has nothing to do with any underlying emotion at all."

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight (Kakashi/Anko) fluff?

Yes, and it's adorable, even though if you want truly awesome fluff, Kakashi should be getting seduced by his former student and Anko should be a.) defiling Iruka or b.) being one of the scant good things in Itachi's life.

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve (Sai/Chouji) Hurt/Comfort fic.

"You have reached a brain that has been broken or is no longer in use. If you feel you have reached this recording in error...."

11. What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four (Hinata) to de-flower One (Kakashi)?

Ummm. *snorfles into hand* Okay, so..... Hinata would be assigned have to seduce someone, and Kakashi would get assigned to "instruct" her, only *gasp!* He's never had sex before! Everyone merely assumes he is fabulous in bed because of the jounin skills + porn reading! But Hinata is quietly determined, and soon the teacher shall be the student.

12. Does anyone on your friends list read Three/Eight (Tsunade/Anko)?

If they are, they have been holding out on me, and I am pissed.

13. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven (Ino)?

Yes. bellzooks  seems to pay a lot of attention to Ino.

14. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five (Sakura/Hinata/Suigetsu)?

feilyn  or okroginator  might. Also, regarding this threesome? I can only inquire as to what Suigetsu did to be so very, very lucky.

15. What might Ten (Jiraiya) scream at a moment of great passion?

"Tsunade!"

or

"Fuck, that was awesome. And SO going in the next book!"

16. If you wrote a song-fic about Eight (Anko), what song would you choose?

"Crazy Faith" by Alison Krauss (Anko/Iruka) or "Too Sick To Pray" by Alabama 3 (Anko/Itachi).

17. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve (Kakashi/Karin/Chouji) fic, what would the warning be?

Warning: noncon, drug and alcohol abuse, and abuse of poor Chouji.

18. What might be a good pick-up line for Ten (Jiriaya) to use on Two (Sakura)?

There isn't one.

19. How might Eleven (Ino) describe a relationship between Two (Sakura) and Eight (Anko)?

"That fucking cunt. That fucking cunt. I am going to rip that crazy snake-bitch's goddamned head off the next time I see her ugly, barren face with her stupid, stupid spiky hair - fuck, it's almost as dumb as yours, Shikamaru, and no, I have not had enough. ...And what is Forehead thinking? No, no, I want to know what's going through that ugly little skank's head that she picked Anko. Sakura picked Anko. Why the fuck would she do that?What, is she still so upset about Sasuke that she had to go for the OTHER ninja with a curse seal? Tell me why, Chouji. I mean, what. the. fuck. I'm way prettier than Anko. I'm so much hotter than she is that it's not even a competition. Have you see how much dango that bitch eats? Do you think she's still going to have that waistline in another five years? I think she's already getting poochy. Is that what Sakura wants? Some fat slut of a jounin? Oh, god, I'm so unhappy!"

20. How emo is Seven (Sai)?

He's the least emo of anyone in the entire Naruto cast. Except maybe Naruto and Deidara. That's what makes Sai so awesome: he has a backstory that would make little kittens wibble, yet is totally unaware of how tragic it is.

Comments

[okroginator.livejournal.com]

If Chouji got Anko pregnant... that poor boy. For one thing, I honestly don't think he could handle Anko. Besides which, Iruka would kill him, and after that, Itachi would be waiting in the afterlife to fuck Chouji's head up.

Oh, yes he would. Royally. "You stupid child, do you not realize that she was supposed to help me restore my clan (since my asstarded little brother seems to have forgotten anything our mother ever taught him about how babies are made), despite the fact that I'M DEAD?? Tsukuyomi-ing you now, kthxbai."

"Why, Sakura, I would never have thought you would find a fat-ass like him aesthetically pleasing."

XD XD XD TRUUUUUUFAAAAAAAAX

Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve (Sai/Chouji) Hurt/Comfort fic

For my expression, see the face that Naruto makes in chapter 347, when Konohamaru displays a disturbingly accurate knowledge of how Sasuke and Sai look without clothes. DO NOT WANT.

Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five (Sakura/Hinata/Suigetsu)?

You're right. I so would. *adds to list of things to write*

"Too Sick To Pray" by Alabama 3 (Anko/Itachi)

MUST FIND SONG.

Teehee, awesome meme. I'll do it when I get the time.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

h, yes he would. Royally. "You stupid child, do you not realize that she was supposed to help me restore my clan (since my asstarded little brother seems to have forgotten anything our mother ever taught him about how babies are made), despite the fact that I'M DEAD?? Tsukuyomi-ing you now, kthxbai."

Oh, Itachi would SO respond like this. And Anko would be like, "Oh, Itachi-kun, you DO care."

For my expression, see the face that Naruto makes in chapter 347, when Konohamaru displays a disturbingly accurate knowledge of how Sasuke and Sai look without clothes. DO NOT WANT.

Who does? I mean, even for slash, that's an epically unwanted pairing.

[pyxis-lynx.livejournal.com]

LOL at 15 and 18 XD

suddenly, I'm itching for Jiraiya/Tsunade fanfics lol

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty much always itching for some.

I mean, I really want to give them a happy ending.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I am still trying to fathom this child being born at all.

[digthenym.livejournal.com]

Holy shit, your Ino reaction to Anko x Sakura made milk come out of my nose XD

...Anko x Itachi? Sounds kind of impossibly hot.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Writing Ino there was so incredibly fun; it was one of those times where I was giggling while I typed.

And Anko x Itachi IS impossibly hot.

[okroginator.livejournal.com]

Extremely impossibly hot. *glances at the two she's written shiftily*

[digthenym.livejournal.com]

...and now methinks I have a new crack pairing :P

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Come to the dark side. We have pretty broken characters.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Oooh, Kakashi/Sakura porn. Win.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

It might come out wrong?

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

No, because we are fair and pious maidens at all times.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

You know she loves it.