*sigh* Although I agree with one of the other repliers on here that the sexy fic I enjoy the most is the stuff that spares me the biological play-by-play, I cannot think of anything that makes me laugh harder (and then hit the back button) than overly flowery language.

I don't read a lot of smut, but there was a perfectly good fic on the Soul Eater kink meme that I enjoyed hugely and almost perfectly...except that I had to stop halfway through and laugh myself punch-drunk and dizzy at the phrase...what was it? "Maka's velvet warmth", I think? Almost as good as lady-softness. Seriously, anonymous author, you wrote such an otherwise excellent piece! What possessed you? >.>