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Late Night Study Sessions - Uhura
The Academy's standards are brutal.
The first year is designed to weed out those who cannot take the pressures associated with Star Fleet.
Gaila was Uhura's fifth roommate and Uhura had no expectations that she would last, even before Gaila spend the first night Uhura knew her partying with the cadets one floor down.
Uhura knew she was going to make it, though; she had a gift for languages and was going to make something of herself.
When (sleep deprived, so stressed her lobes were raw from tugging at her earrings) that reasoning stopped working. So she clung to her stubbornness.
Nyota Uhura was not a quitter.
She was not.
And when even that seemed a frail, frail reason to keep working on her homework, with her eyes burning and dawn teasing San Francisco's skyline, she imagined handing work that was less than perfect in to Commander Spock, imagined how his dark eyes would look dismissively at her paper as he graded it.
He'd probably stop requesting that she demonstrate the correct ways to pronounce Pryttian glottal stops.
That got her through the first round of revisions.
The pot of caffeinated Orian sah-li Gaila made when she stumbled back from a party got Uhura through the next two.
Kirk & Spock - Slutty Carnivorous Plants
"Yeoman Colt will be pleased at the chance to study an unknown form of plant life," Spock observed.
"It ate my uniform," Kirk repeated for the fifth time, his tone wavering between shock and outrage. "The pretty flowers ate my uniform. ALL OF IT."
"Indeed," said Spock, continuing to make notes in his tablet as if he wasn't standing stark nude on a previously unexplored planet.
Kirk's communicator beeped.
"Captain would you like to be weamed aboard?" Chekov asked.
Kirk looked down at his complete lack of pants or anything he would optionally wear under his pants, his imagination filling the transporter room with every member of the Enterprise and his fifth grade homeroom teacher.
"No," he said firmly.
Spock looked surprised. "We are due back-"
Kirk shook his head, tugged at the skimpy vines hanging from the lurid, orange trees, tried to tug a branch free, failed.
Then he marched -okay, tiptoed carefully, so he didn't step on anything sharp - over to where his phaser had fallen when some bitchy petunia-like thing had slurped down his belt before ravishing his poor, poor pants right off his body.
Spock watched curiously as Kirk phasered a tree branch free.
"I would not advise you to use that as improvised clothing," he commented. "It would be remarkably inefficient at preserving body heat and-"
"OW."
"-appears to have a multitude of thorn-like structures on it's underside," Spock finished.
Kirk managed to glare at his second-in-command while swearing and clutching himself.
Spock flipped open his communicator.
"Mr Chekov, the captain is injured and incapable of making a rational decision, beam us up, please," he said.
"Oh, no!" Chekov said as Kirk watched particles of light swirling around his hand. "Don't worry, Lt Uhura is here - she can help us get him to sick bay!"
First Kiss - Chekov
Nurse Chapel patted herself, panting, and then kissed the floor of transporter pad, kissed her way up the wall, mumbling words like "thank you, god" and "promise to be a nicer nurse" and "all my bits attached".
"I told you we would not die!" Chekhov said cheerfully to Nurse Chapel. "It was simply a matter of re-calibrating the food replicator and a tricorder to-"
She grabbed him by the shoulder and placed a smacking kiss on his mouth and then stumbled down the steps to hug the Lieutenant manning the transporter controls.
Retail Therapy - Uhura & Gaila
Uhura hated her new roomate until the afternoon she came back to find Gaila crying, every single item of clothing she had spread across the room.
As soon as Gaila heard the door swish open she wiped her eyes and turned to Uhura with a bright, cherry smile, trilling a greeting. Uhura was trained to hear stresses and deceit in vocalizations; she wasn't fooled.
"What's wrong?" she asked carefully after a long pause.
"Oh, nothing," Gaila said with a wave of her hand and then her bottom lip trembled. She gripped her hands together. "I'm just- have you ever had a day where you realize that everything you own clashes with your face?
Uhura opened her mouth a few times. Before she could figure out what to say, Gaila was babbling again.
"It just - colors look so weird here and people calling me Elphaba isn't very funny - I mean I've been called worse but it's still - I mean, I don't love getting called 'slut' but at least that makes sense-"
Uhura leaned down, hugged her roommate hard.
"It's the damn uniforms," she managed after a minute, making a mental note to get Gaila better friends. "The red clashes with every nail polish I own, too."
"Really?" Gaila sounded really hopeful.
"Do you know what I think we need to do?" Uhura rubbed Gaila's back comfortingly, kneeling next to her on a uniform skirt and an orange bra.
"What?"
Uhura smiled wisely. "I think we need some major retail therapy. We'll hop a shuttle down to new Los Angeles - the shops there are famous planet-wide. I'm sure that we can find something to show off your skin."
Gaila's eyes were still too bright but her smile didn't quiver at all.
Like An Earth Woman - Gaila/Kirk
She loves Kirk because he looks at her exactly like he looks at human women (his history professor, the pizza waitress, etc). He looks at her appreciatively. She's so used to men who just look at her like she's already naked and tied to their bed - appreciation feels very nice.
A Language For Every Star - Uhura
Uhura always knew she was good at languages - she grew up with her grandmother bringing her to the Trade Union meetings each month, because she was the only person who could be counted on to be able to translate the words of even the farmers who rode their aircycles in from the high plains.
When she was ten, she translated the whole of a classic film (The Bride With White Hair) when the subtitles stopped working and her teacher took her to see the principal.
He talked to her about being gifted, about having a bright future ahead of her, and then he talked to her about Star Fleet.
Everyone knew about Star Fleet and making contact with aliens and fighting battles and saving planets, but Uhura's principal told her about struggling to communicate with newly met aliens, about telling the citizens of a far off planet that they were safe in their own tongue, and suddenly there was a place for her on some ship boldly cutting through the sky.
Her principal gave her a set of Vulcan language tapes and an academic lexicon written by a woman named Grayson.
Uhura was proficient in four months and fluent in six.
Puppy-Dog Look - Bones & Chekov
Did the kid want to catch Sowellian flu or Fl'zra disease? Seriously, Chekov should be thanking McCoy, not looking at him with kicked-puppy eyes.
5 Men That Uhura Doesn't Sleep With & The One That She Does
Sulu - Uhura absolutely did not get fencing lessons from him and certainly did not reciprocate with several exercises to increase the flexibility of the tongue.
Bones - she absolutely did not have an adverse reaction to an inoculation he gave her that mimicked the effects of a strong aphrodisiac.
Gaila - she CERTAINLY did not take her roommate up on her offer of 'stress-reduction' techniques.
Kirk - there is no way she decided that nailing some Iowa farmboy who probably fucked cattle in his spare time would be more fun than hanging out in a loud bar.
Spock - she may possibly have had sex on her linguistics professor’s desk during his office hours. Twice.
The Academy's standards are brutal.
The first year is designed to weed out those who cannot take the pressures associated with Star Fleet.
Gaila was Uhura's fifth roommate and Uhura had no expectations that she would last, even before Gaila spend the first night Uhura knew her partying with the cadets one floor down.
Uhura knew she was going to make it, though; she had a gift for languages and was going to make something of herself.
When (sleep deprived, so stressed her lobes were raw from tugging at her earrings) that reasoning stopped working. So she clung to her stubbornness.
Nyota Uhura was not a quitter.
She was not.
And when even that seemed a frail, frail reason to keep working on her homework, with her eyes burning and dawn teasing San Francisco's skyline, she imagined handing work that was less than perfect in to Commander Spock, imagined how his dark eyes would look dismissively at her paper as he graded it.
He'd probably stop requesting that she demonstrate the correct ways to pronounce Pryttian glottal stops.
That got her through the first round of revisions.
The pot of caffeinated Orian sah-li Gaila made when she stumbled back from a party got Uhura through the next two.
Kirk & Spock - Slutty Carnivorous Plants
"Yeoman Colt will be pleased at the chance to study an unknown form of plant life," Spock observed.
"It ate my uniform," Kirk repeated for the fifth time, his tone wavering between shock and outrage. "The pretty flowers ate my uniform. ALL OF IT."
"Indeed," said Spock, continuing to make notes in his tablet as if he wasn't standing stark nude on a previously unexplored planet.
Kirk's communicator beeped.
"Captain would you like to be weamed aboard?" Chekov asked.
Kirk looked down at his complete lack of pants or anything he would optionally wear under his pants, his imagination filling the transporter room with every member of the Enterprise and his fifth grade homeroom teacher.
"No," he said firmly.
Spock looked surprised. "We are due back-"
Kirk shook his head, tugged at the skimpy vines hanging from the lurid, orange trees, tried to tug a branch free, failed.
Then he marched -okay, tiptoed carefully, so he didn't step on anything sharp - over to where his phaser had fallen when some bitchy petunia-like thing had slurped down his belt before ravishing his poor, poor pants right off his body.
Spock watched curiously as Kirk phasered a tree branch free.
"I would not advise you to use that as improvised clothing," he commented. "It would be remarkably inefficient at preserving body heat and-"
"OW."
"-appears to have a multitude of thorn-like structures on it's underside," Spock finished.
Kirk managed to glare at his second-in-command while swearing and clutching himself.
Spock flipped open his communicator.
"Mr Chekov, the captain is injured and incapable of making a rational decision, beam us up, please," he said.
"Oh, no!" Chekov said as Kirk watched particles of light swirling around his hand. "Don't worry, Lt Uhura is here - she can help us get him to sick bay!"
First Kiss - Chekov
Nurse Chapel patted herself, panting, and then kissed the floor of transporter pad, kissed her way up the wall, mumbling words like "thank you, god" and "promise to be a nicer nurse" and "all my bits attached".
"I told you we would not die!" Chekhov said cheerfully to Nurse Chapel. "It was simply a matter of re-calibrating the food replicator and a tricorder to-"
She grabbed him by the shoulder and placed a smacking kiss on his mouth and then stumbled down the steps to hug the Lieutenant manning the transporter controls.
Retail Therapy - Uhura & Gaila
Uhura hated her new roomate until the afternoon she came back to find Gaila crying, every single item of clothing she had spread across the room.
As soon as Gaila heard the door swish open she wiped her eyes and turned to Uhura with a bright, cherry smile, trilling a greeting. Uhura was trained to hear stresses and deceit in vocalizations; she wasn't fooled.
"What's wrong?" she asked carefully after a long pause.
"Oh, nothing," Gaila said with a wave of her hand and then her bottom lip trembled. She gripped her hands together. "I'm just- have you ever had a day where you realize that everything you own clashes with your face?
Uhura opened her mouth a few times. Before she could figure out what to say, Gaila was babbling again.
"It just - colors look so weird here and people calling me Elphaba isn't very funny - I mean I've been called worse but it's still - I mean, I don't love getting called 'slut' but at least that makes sense-"
Uhura leaned down, hugged her roommate hard.
"It's the damn uniforms," she managed after a minute, making a mental note to get Gaila better friends. "The red clashes with every nail polish I own, too."
"Really?" Gaila sounded really hopeful.
"Do you know what I think we need to do?" Uhura rubbed Gaila's back comfortingly, kneeling next to her on a uniform skirt and an orange bra.
"What?"
Uhura smiled wisely. "I think we need some major retail therapy. We'll hop a shuttle down to new Los Angeles - the shops there are famous planet-wide. I'm sure that we can find something to show off your skin."
Gaila's eyes were still too bright but her smile didn't quiver at all.
Like An Earth Woman - Gaila/Kirk
She loves Kirk because he looks at her exactly like he looks at human women (his history professor, the pizza waitress, etc). He looks at her appreciatively. She's so used to men who just look at her like she's already naked and tied to their bed - appreciation feels very nice.
A Language For Every Star - Uhura
Uhura always knew she was good at languages - she grew up with her grandmother bringing her to the Trade Union meetings each month, because she was the only person who could be counted on to be able to translate the words of even the farmers who rode their aircycles in from the high plains.
When she was ten, she translated the whole of a classic film (The Bride With White Hair) when the subtitles stopped working and her teacher took her to see the principal.
He talked to her about being gifted, about having a bright future ahead of her, and then he talked to her about Star Fleet.
Everyone knew about Star Fleet and making contact with aliens and fighting battles and saving planets, but Uhura's principal told her about struggling to communicate with newly met aliens, about telling the citizens of a far off planet that they were safe in their own tongue, and suddenly there was a place for her on some ship boldly cutting through the sky.
Her principal gave her a set of Vulcan language tapes and an academic lexicon written by a woman named Grayson.
Uhura was proficient in four months and fluent in six.
Puppy-Dog Look - Bones & Chekov
Did the kid want to catch Sowellian flu or Fl'zra disease? Seriously, Chekov should be thanking McCoy, not looking at him with kicked-puppy eyes.
5 Men That Uhura Doesn't Sleep With & The One That She Does
Sulu - Uhura absolutely did not get fencing lessons from him and certainly did not reciprocate with several exercises to increase the flexibility of the tongue.
Bones - she absolutely did not have an adverse reaction to an inoculation he gave her that mimicked the effects of a strong aphrodisiac.
Gaila - she CERTAINLY did not take her roommate up on her offer of 'stress-reduction' techniques.
Kirk - there is no way she decided that nailing some Iowa farmboy who probably fucked cattle in his spare time would be more fun than hanging out in a loud bar.
Spock - she may possibly have had sex on her linguistics professor’s desk during his office hours. Twice.
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I'm pretty sure, though, that I wrote this before I read that....
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Have you read the Gaila + Uhura (with a touch of Spock) fic called Lunch and Other Obscenities (http://rheanna27.livejournal.com/110953.html) that
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