We Felt The Lightning & Waited On The Thunder

[redbrunja]

gacked from penknife :

List the first lines of your last twenty stories. See if you find any patterns. (And flist, I'd love your opinions on patterns you notice.)

1.) Dumbledore wishes he remembered his seventeenth summer as blood-stained and dark.

2.) Soul knows the moment his insanity infects Maka, the moment her rationalism cracks.

3.) He was the only man who calls the Hokage '-chan' in public and Kakashi decides he hates Sasuke for that most of all.

4.) The Academy's standards are brutal.

5.) Rock woke up already groping after his memories of the preceding night.

6.) Marie wasn't good at lying - either to others or herself.

7.) A year after Azula escaped from her brother's care, the Princess of the Fire Nation limped into a cave high in the mountains of the Earth Kingdom.

8.) Sakura looked regal, her back straight and one leg draped over the arm of the chair.

9.) At Hinata's wedding, Sakura seduced the best man.

10.) Shikamaru was most of the way through what had been a brand-new pack of cigarettes two hours ago when Ino stepped up onto the porch and strolled into his room, nonchalant, like she hadn’t needed to scale at least one wall and tromp across his lawn to get that entrance.

11.) Sasuke's eyes flared, his bloodline limit activating.

12.) Sakura was staring dazedly at the grouting between the tiles of her shower when she heard the curtain slide aside and realized that she had pore-reducing cream all over her face.

13.) Ino is used to having people leave her.

14.) Kisame pressed his tongue to her clit and then swore as she yanked on his hair.

15.) Sai dreamed in monochrome, pink, and green.

16.) Sakura turned a page of the textbook with her left hand.

17.) "You're trembling," Gaara noted coolly and Hinata squeezed Naruto's hand tighter for reassurance. His flat blue-green eyes shifted to from her to her husband. "This is a bad idea, Uzumaki."

18.) Sooner or later, she'd break.

19.) Orihime was an excellent, if nontraditional, nurse.

20.) Uchiha Sasuke was a gloater.

What I noticed: my opening sentences are typically short. They're evenly split between opening with external action and internal actions. (Actually, I think having a whole bunch of my Naruto Kink Meme fics in there skewed the curve - I think I most often open with internal action - what someone is feeling or thinking or is. In reality, I think I rarely open with direct action.) I rarely open with dialogue.

Comments

[superduperotaku.livejournal.com]

I kind of want to read the rest of #12 and most definitely #14. Were those kink meme entries?

I don't usually use dialogue either. I see you don't use description in your opening lines which I heard is hard to do, but you've already made me want to read moe of these fics so thats a good thing right?

I think I'm gonna steal this meme.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

They were both kink meme entries. 12 is 'Failing at Time Management' and 14 is the Kisame/Karin I wrote.

but you've already made me want to read moe of these fics so thats a good thing right?


I vote yes. ^_^

[moderndayportia.livejournal.com]

I noticed that you establish the central character of the story immediately in most cases. This is essential for shorter stories like one shots and drabbles, so I would be surprised if any of the above were multi-chapter fics. Am I right?

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

You are, they're all one-shots.

I don't write multi-chapters because I'll get bored too easily and I don't want to leave readers hanging and never finish a story.

[moderndayportia.livejournal.com]

You know, I don't think I've ever read any of your stories, though 15 looks really familiar...

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Well, I have a nice chuck of Kakashi/Sakura, if you're interested. And fifteen was posted on the second the latest kink meme, so you might have read it there.

[moderndayportia.livejournal.com]

ooh, I'll have to look into that!

*stalks you*

[misora.livejournal.com]

That's why you have *several* multi-chapter fics lined up, so you can switch back and forth and keep yourself interested! :D



...at least that's what I tell myself. D:

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Interesting tactic.

[misora.livejournal.com]

I'm curious as to what #18 is, and if it's Avatarfic, since you have so few of them listed there!

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

18 is not Avatar, and yeah, I don't have many avatar fics posted.

[digthenym.livejournal.com]

You tend to open up with a heavily dramatic statement, kind of like a punch to the gut that gets nursed with the rest of the fic <3

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

That's a good way to describe it, because yes, that's exactly what I do.

[jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com]

I notice you like to start with names--like moderndaypotria said, establishing the central character. And names--especially when writing about animes--are so different from the rest of the words around them, and so they help to add a punch to your sentences, if that makes sense. Over half of these start with an action--even the internal ones are more than just thinking. And you have very visual descriptions. Lots of nouns, maybe?

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Thank you. You're right about the names -especially anime names - being a good way to call attention.

*nods*

And I do use a lot of internal action.

And you have very visual descriptions

Thank you!