To be honest, I don't feel like I can comment too much on the fetishization aspects of slash because I personally don't like it so very much. I feel like I can't be honest about it, if that makes sense? But I do hear you that how as a queer woman (which I think you've mentioned you identify as?) you find it pretty off-putting? Which totally makes sense to me because slash is pretty undeniably about white, straight fangirls enjoying the thought of two white dudes doing each other. Part of me feelings like, 'whatever gets you off, slash fans' but at the same time, I think do think slash reflects a lot of really problematic aspects our our culture. (Though, to be fair, some of the things that get ME off, reflect really problematic aspects of my culture, so. Glass houses.)