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Title: Kinky Chopsticks
Author: redbrunja
Fandom: How I Met Your Mother
Rating: NC-17
Author's Note: written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rashaka. Spoilers for season 3.
Characters: Robin, Barney
Summary: "Robin regains her sanity when the delivery girl raises her eyebrows and gives Robin a 'you lucky bitch' look."
Robin throws the money at her, grabs the Chinese food, and shuts the door in the woman's face. Robin and turns around to see Barney behind her, all perfect, hard abs and bright blue eyes. His tailored slacks slip low on his hips as he takes the food, starts pulling open cartons of General Tso's pork and fried rice.
"Fuck," she says, once, violently, and Barney smirks at her, smile tight and intense, and goes, "weren't you the one insisting on food before a repeat? 'Cause I'm game if you are, Scherbatsky."
Her palm itches to slap him, but she turns away instead, only she must be moving really, really slow, her old field hockey coach would be screaming at her because Barney catches one of her earring with his chopsticks. She pauses at the tug of her earlobe, and Barney presses against her back, other hand sliding around her waist to pull her against him.
"Hey, hey, don't rush off," he whispers into her ear and he sounds wounded, concerned, positively Ted-esque, like she can't feel his erection pressing into her ass, like she doesn't know that the only thing he wants from her is sex.
Robin slaps the chopsticks away from her ear and slams the door as she leaves.
Author: redbrunja
Fandom: How I Met Your Mother
Rating: NC-17
Author's Note: written for
rashaka. Spoilers for season 3.Characters: Robin, Barney
Summary: "Robin regains her sanity when the delivery girl raises her eyebrows and gives Robin a 'you lucky bitch' look."
Robin throws the money at her, grabs the Chinese food, and shuts the door in the woman's face. Robin and turns around to see Barney behind her, all perfect, hard abs and bright blue eyes. His tailored slacks slip low on his hips as he takes the food, starts pulling open cartons of General Tso's pork and fried rice.
"Fuck," she says, once, violently, and Barney smirks at her, smile tight and intense, and goes, "weren't you the one insisting on food before a repeat? 'Cause I'm game if you are, Scherbatsky."
Her palm itches to slap him, but she turns away instead, only she must be moving really, really slow, her old field hockey coach would be screaming at her because Barney catches one of her earring with his chopsticks. She pauses at the tug of her earlobe, and Barney presses against her back, other hand sliding around her waist to pull her against him.
"Hey, hey, don't rush off," he whispers into her ear and he sounds wounded, concerned, positively Ted-esque, like she can't feel his erection pressing into her ass, like she doesn't know that the only thing he wants from her is sex.
Robin slaps the chopsticks away from her ear and slams the door as she leaves.
Tags:
::APPLAUSE:: More please! Do it again, do it again!
I couldn't help but think "ow!" with the catching earring part, but I can also see how if you did it just right and she didn't move to fast, it could be a tug instead of painful.
"Hey, hey, don't rush off," he whispers into her ear and he sounds wounded, concerned, positively Ted-esque,
:laugh: That's Barney's worst nightmare, turning into Ted, and we might see it happen at some point next season. His inner 23 year old was definitely a Ted Type.
like she can't feel his erection pressing into her ass, like she doesn't know that the only thing he wants from her is sex
Ahh... it will take a while for the blasphemous news to sink in. I look forward to a season or at least half-season of Barney spazzing and Robin freaking out.
Robin and turns around to see Barney behind her, all perfect, hard abs and bright blue eyes. His tailored slacks slip low on his hips
o.O I'd love to see that. We've seen Barney shirtless before, but not very often in a sexy situation... I'm thinking of The Goat mostly, though there's probably been a few other times over the course of the show. The Goat's the only one I remember (probably because he looked RIPPED for that scene...NPH must have been working out this year, nicely done NPH...). I'd love to see him on the show standing in just pants, eating Chinese food.
Re: ::APPLAUSE:: More please! Do it again, do it again!
I sincerely hope we get a lot of clothingless Barney this season. Particularly with a lot of clothingless Robin, too. Score one for the bisexuals.
Re: ::APPLAUSE:: More please! Do it again, do it again!
Re: ::APPLAUSE:: More please! Do it again, do it again!
Thank you!
I couldn't help but think "ow!" with the catching earring part, but I can also see how if you did it just right and she didn't move to fast, it could be a tug instead of painful.
*nods* Yeah, and I imagine that if Robin's been wearing earrings for a long time, her lobes would be less sensitive than, say, mine. (Plus a little bit of pain? You know Robin likes it dirty.)
:laugh: That's Barney's worst nightmare, turning into Ted, and we might see it happen at some point next season. His inner 23 year old was definitely a Ted Type.
Hell yeah. His 23 year old self would out-Ted Ted, which is why (imho, I hope) Barney in love is going to be so awesome. Because you have him as he is now, but you also have this sweetheart inside without cheating the audience.
I'd love to see him on the show standing in just pants, eating Chinese food.
Wouldn't we all. I mean, I don't mind that Ted and Marshell aren't model pretty, but it does get me that both Robin and Lily ARE. (Mainly cause I get so sick of shlebby guys getting hot, hot girls.)
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I am so in love with you right now you have no idea. God, what a fantastic thing to wake up to after being positively ill all night.
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And about your text - adding like to everything is a very Californian thing to do, which swept the nation in the mid-ninties, and then people dropped it. It's very, very Valley Girl.
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