DIE IN A HORRIBLE BLAZING FIRE!

IT'S MIDNIGHT ON A SCHOOL NIGHT SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME GET TO SLEEP!

WHY CAN'T YOU FUCKING TALK IN THE COMMON ROOMS OR IN YOUR OWN GODDAMN DORM ROOM, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO ACT LIKE THE THE FUCKING HALLWAY IS YOUR PERSONAL DOMAIN? I HATE YOU ALL.

SERIOUSLY, TWO SECONDS AGO I HEARD A WOMAN SHRIEKING. I WANT TO GO OUT THERE AND GIVE HER SOMETHING TO REALLY SCREAM ABOUT.

Now I'm off to sooth my soul via some retail therapy. Hello there VAST and Gram Rabbit CDs.

Oh, The Disappointment Bites

For one glorious moment, when I saw this title: Men of the Otherworld I thought Kelly Armstrong had fulfilled my wildest dreams and wrote an awesome, glorious books focusing on one of her best characters ever, Lucas Cortez. *fangirls*. (FYI, Paige Winterbourne, his awesometastic wife, is the best character she ever wrote).

But noooooo, it's about stupid Clayton, who only exists so Elena, this series' resident Mary Sue can get her rocks off. (And yes, that is very, very harsh, and it's not that bad, but Elena has a WAY too high ration of angsty trauma to everybody-thinks-she's-gorgeous-ness.)

Also, Patricia Briggs continues to sell her soul to the popular kids, instead of writing winning and original fantasy. Want to bet this one has a contractually obligated everybody-loves-the-heroine clause too?

LOL

Random person 1: How come Orihime eats that much and doesn't gain weight?

Random person 2: It all goes to her breasts.

redbrunja : *dies*

In An Effort To Save Nimblnymph's Soul & Sanity....

enderxenocide  and I went shopping today, and we kicked ass. I found three bras, two shirts, and part of pants ALL of which both a.) fit and b.) were on sale. Plus, I had gift cards for half of it. (Hello, there, awesome new shisedo lipstick in a red 1930s harlots would wear.) Plus I knocked off half my Christmas list. (Shut up, I know that it's not even thanksgiving. In my defense, I come back from Turkey Day and have Dead week and then finals and know I won't want to shop then.) As a result of this, I got to go home and throw away two bras that were old and needed to be taken out to the back forty.

Get your lulz for the day: 28 Reasons That ‘Twilight’ the Movie Is Better Than ‘Twilight’ the Book

I would totally be seeing this movie, because the movie would be better than the book and I'm a sucker (heh) for vampire stories, except that the author is a Morman, and a certain percentage of her earnings go to the Church.... the same Church that helped get same-sex declared illegal in California.

The Church of Latter-Day Saints is not seeing one fucking dime of my money.

And nimble? About writing a good vampire novel since no one else is? You totally should and I think I will. I've been looking for a nice project for winter break and I'm a little burned out on my Reiketsukan-verse at the moment.

Since I've been thinking of good vampire novels (and been shocked by how hard it is - especially since they are my favorite) I've decided to post a rec list of damn good vampire novels.

(Some of these are stand alones and some are the first of a series.)

The Silver Kiss by Annette Curtis Klaus

This is how you do a romance between a vampire and a teenage girl. Zoe has a life of her own, problems of her own, and so does Simon. The vampire lore is classic and has consequences and Zoe is the furtherest thing from passive. The ending is bittersweet and this is one of the few books when I can honestly say I'd have it no other way.

Covenant with the Vampire (Diaries of the Family Dracul) by Jeanne Kalogridis

I was probably too young to read this when I did. I'm still not sure if I liked it but the author doesn't shy away from either the horrific nature of the vampires or the sex=death metaphor. (In fact, there is a sex scene in the first book that is pretty much burned in my mind. I could probably quote a couple lines word for word. Considering I read this about ten years ago....)

Glass Houses by Rachel Caine

The teenagers in this book feel real - mature and young and all trying there best. Also, there's Eve. A barista who grew up in a town ruled by vampires and so dresses Goth as a 'fuck you' to people who could kill her for being too uppity.

Life Sucks by Jessica Abel

A graphic novel this time, Life Sucks, is a screamingly creative retelling of vampire mythology in modern times, and what immortality would really look like in our capitalist world. I'm praying this will be the beginning of a series but this works as a stand-alone. While it will leave you wanting more, stands very well on its own merits.

You Suck by Christopher Moore

Imagine if Carl Hiaasen wrote about vampires instead of Flordia. Yeah.

Dead Until Dark (Southern Vampire Mysteries, No. 1) by Charlaine Harris

Everyone and their best friend's mother has read this but I feel it's good enough to deserve a place on the list, even if I do feel that is and has teetered dangerously close to succumbing to Anita Blake-itis.

Dead Witch Walking by Kim Harrison

Her latest book made me think I'd made a grave mistake in buying it in hardcover and I spent a hundred pages cursing her editor and LKH. And then Harrison pulled out a fantastically interesting plot that has nothing whatsoever to do with the main characters love life and her next book regained will-be-pre-ordering status. That said, her first book (linked) is fantastically interesting, has a great, original mythology, and gave me my first femmeslash OTP.

Daughter of the Blood by Anne Bishop

"I am Tersa the weaver, Tersa the liar, Tersa the fool."

While not strictly a vampire novel, there is a hot, scary, bad ass dead guy who I want to adopt me. I say it qualifies. As you can see, I've read this series so many times I have chucks of it memorized and the spine has a tendency to fall open to my favorite passages.

Blood Price by Tanya Huff

Scary romantic vampire love interest writes historical romance novels to pay the bills. Heroine is an ex-cop who quit the force because she got a degenerative eye condition that means she's effectively blind at night. Which is not going to stop her from being an awesome P.I.

Edited To Add:

Sunshine by Robin McKinley

"Talk to me. Remind me that you are a rational creature."

In in one line, McKinely gives us an ominously hungry vampire who is nonetheless that kind of vampire you'd want to be chained next to. Also, McKinley gives us a deliciously interesting world and a protagonist with a deliciously mundane day job (she's a baker).