Just.... No.

[redbrunja]

Breasts are lovely things and there are many nice, hot things you can do with boobs in an R-rated fic.

However, when writing smut, you should never, ever, ever have a line like

"He nursed on her breast like a starving infant."

Because I don't care how hot things were before, now they're in a creepy pedophilic place and there's just no regaining that spark.

First, when writing a sex scene, don't go from a 'lover' place to a 'mother-child' place- I don't even care if you're writing incest (which this wasn't).

Secondly, 'nursing a breast' (pauses to let brain implode) wouldn't feel that sexy, imho. Or at least, it sounds the utter opposite of sexy. Nuzzle a breast. Nibble a breast. Hell you can bite, suck, lave, pinch, tease a breast.

Just don't nurse one, unless you're actually an infant and need milk for sustenance.

Also, a grown man should not be doing anything to his bedmate 'like a starving infant.'

Comments

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

That seems to be the consensus.

I'm now wondering 1.) why the author ever thought that line would be a good idea, 2.) what beta reader didn't catch that that line was squicky and 3.) if there wasn't a beta reader, did the author not reread what she wrote before posting?

[azurehart.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, having a beta only works if the author in question takes his/her advice.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

True.