Fic: "You Choke Behind A Smile"

[redbrunja]

Title: You Choke Behind A Smile
Author: redbrunja
Fandom: Naruto
Rating: NC-17
Author's Note: This fic is... odd. And while the tenses are supposed to be all creative and dramatic, they might just be screwy. Also, long sentences like whoa. Written because there has been a painful lack of Kakashi/Sakura lately.
Characters: Kakashi/Sakura
Summary: Sooner or later, she'd break. Kakashi was sure of it.

Sooner or later, she'd break. Kakashi was sure of it.

Since Sasuke's return, since he'd rejoined Team 7, Sakura had been tense. Kakashi didn't think she even knew how much pressure she was under, with the way she kept smiling at Sasuke, keep making him bentos, keep pressing her lips together instead of chattering on as they all ate ramen after a mission.

Just one more time - if Sasuke would step between Sakura and enemy nin just one more time, surely she'd snap. She'd snap and Sasuke's teeth would be on the ground, she'd snap and yell so loudly that she'd be repairing their eardrums after she calmed down, she'd snap and wipe that dismissive, possessive look right of the Uchiha's face.

But no. It appeared that the smart, confident kunoichi who had fought Sasori of the Desert and directed repairs of Konoha had permanently vanished into a pale, passive, ghost of herself. He'd watch her grit her teeth, clench her fists until the leather of her gloves moaned, stare at the ground like Icha Icha was written in the dirt, and yet she continued to act like she was continually auditioning for the role of Uchiha Sakura.

Kakashi never thought he'd say this, but he missed her 12-year-old, obsessive self. At least that girl had been someone unique and not just the perfect wife for Sasuke.

He knew she was going to break.

Sooner or later.

But when it happened, he was taken completely by surprise.

In his defense, he'd expected violence. Massive, property-damaging violence. He'd never dreamed that she would show up on his doorstep after midnight and that when he invited her in, she'd kick off her boots, take one step forward to put the tips of her toes against his and shove her hand down his pants.

And he'd - he'd just thrust his hips against her, forced more of himself into her hand. He'd yanked down his mask, kissed her hard, biting at her bottom lip and drawing blood. She'd gasped and when he'd yanked down her black shorts, shoving her against his door, she'd merely wrapped her arms around his neck and held on while he fucked her.

Sasuke gives her a band of gold, a single ruby in the center and her back is flat against the mushy, waterlogged ground of Training Ground 10 while she grinds against Kakashi, making little needy noises in the back of her throat. Her fingers clench at the back of his shirt, the tips of her fingernails pricking his skin.

The rain patters on the grass around them, on the leaves over them and he unfastens his pants, pushes them down irritably. Sakura lifts herself, running her wet slit along his head until he pins her hips to the ground and penetrates her with a thrust that has her neck arcing back, raindrops sliding down the column of her throat.

She's wild now, clawing at his back, tugging at his hair, gasping oh please sensei more, and then she clenches around him, thighs shaking and the breath caught in her lungs.

He knew she'd break.

But Kakashi had never expected her to shatter like this, to live her life like she was someone else and fuck him with another man's ring on her finger while he selfishly clung to whatever shards of Haruno Sakura he could get his hands on.

Comments

[sub-textual.livejournal.com]

Whew. Pretty goddamn hot. *_* But uh. I think the rating needs to be boosted to R.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Oops! Yep, that should have been rated much higher. Thanks for catching that.

And I'm glad that you enjoyed this.

[a-lifestyle.livejournal.com]

Oh thank Jesus, you too. D:
I've been dying for Kakasaku lately. Thank you, thank you.

But Kakashi had never expected her to shatter like this
One-two, punch to the gut, and I love this.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

I know! I swear, you and nimbl are the only people writing it right now and I'm dying.

Thanks for the review!

[oceansex.livejournal.com]

Very hot, very sad. Gah. Why must the Uchiha ruin everything? ;_; Gotta love Kakashi for not saying a word about it aloud though. The man enjoys torturing himself.

And a lack of Kakashi/Sakura? I must help remedy this!

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Well, in Sasuke's defense, it's not his fault Sakura is forcing herself to be someone else. And I'm on the fence about Kakashi. In a way, hearing 'snap out of it!' might be good for Sakura.... but she probably wouldn't listen.

Please do!

[sowell.livejournal.com]

:( Awesome as usual, but so sad. Kakashi should forget his honor for a little and launch some wacky scheme to break them up, rom-com style.

Poor Sakura. Kakashi didn't think she even knew how much pressure she was under, with the way she kept smiling at Sasuke, keep making him bentos, keep pressing her lips together instead of chattering on as they all ate ramen after a mission.

Ugh, heartbreaking. If Sasuke comes home and she doesn't punch him through the nearest wall, I think I'll cry. I'm using my badass Sakura icon to make me feel better.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Thank you! And I think Kakashi's honor is pretty tarnished at the mo. And I think his schemes would involve sticking Sakura's head in a bucket of ice water. Or taking her on lots of dangerous S-rank missions, just the two of them.

Ugh, heartbreaking. If Sasuke comes home and she doesn't punch him through the nearest wall, I think I'll cry. I'm using my badass Sakura icon to make me feel better.

I actually wrote this because as heartbreaking as it is, part of me really thinks this is what's going to happen in canon when Sasuke returns.

(Uses badass Sakura icon to make myself feel better.)

[devimelete.livejournal.com]

Kakashi never thought he'd say this, but he missed her 12-year-old, obsessive self.

Because at least she shows her passion truly and purposely, right. You break me with this sentence alone.


(oh sweet jesus woman now I'm off to find some KakaSaku fluff.)

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for your review! And if you find any Kakashi/Sakura fluff, let me know.

[hungrytiger11.livejournal.com]

Its hot but so sad to think that... well, I could see that happening. Sakura suddenly acting like someone else who is quiet and submissive and can't fight her own battles all to get Sasuke back. Which cheats them both.

Gorgeous piece though.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

It does cheat them both. And while I am not the biggest fan of Sasuke, it's utterly not his fault that this is happening. Regardless of what Sasuke wants, Sakura is the one folding herself up to be this different person.

[terraminuit.livejournal.com]

...If this is what really happens in canon (not the part with Kakashi, but the rest) I'll break down in tears. I love Sakura's character and will and to have her lose it would devastating. I'm already mad at Kishi about her recent development. This would just break my heart.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

I think I wrote this specifically so, if the worst happens, I already have it firmly embedded in my head that she's nailing Kakashi.

[thatreevesgirl.livejournal.com]

That was so nice! *__* I really enjoyed it. I could see Sakura doing something just like that if Sasuke were to come back, and it would kill her. I agree with sowell that Kakashi should try and break that crap up. XD

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

He should. He really needs to DO something to get Sakura to wake up - and Sakura needs to be on the ball enough to listen.

[wildwesternwind.livejournal.com]

This makes me want to whip out my KakaSaku stick it to Sasuke fic again despite the fact i posted it ages ago.

And yes, there needs to be more KakaSaku-- not only because their dynamics are wonderful, but also cause its a wonderful kind of badhottwrong.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Too true!

[surmise.livejournal.com]

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Thank you! And presumably everyone is busy busy busy but I need my Kakashi/Sakura fic while I'm busy busy busy!

[onerottenpeach.livejournal.com]

asdfghwifjsgk!! This was too good! You really hit the spot with dysfunctional relationship fic.

Also have you been reading Yankee-kun to Megane-chan? 48 just came out on onemanga, and it's getting pretty interesting. And there's some cute Shinagawa/Adachi bits!

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Well, thank you! And yes, I'm still reading Yankee-kun to Megane-chan... but I'm a couple chapters behind - I need to catch up!

[darkxkunoichi.livejournal.com]

that last line just kills me, but i just can't not love it.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[digthenym.livejournal.com]

I loved this! You really capture how Sasuke brings out the bad qualities in Sakura, and you can really feel Kakashi's restraint throughout the fic. At the end you just kind of want to give them both hugs and hits to the back of the head.

Awesome story! <3

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Heh! Yeah, you kinda do want to cuddle and smack them at once.

Thanks for the review!

[raspina.livejournal.com]

In the moments like this, you make me feel bad about SasuSaku being my OTP. Sakura simply deserves better.
This fic just broke my heart. I don't want it to end like this. I may be an idealist and believe in people's goodness, but it would be so wrong.

Also, thank you for KakaSaku, I missed it ;)

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Well, lord knows I think she does (it's a case where if I really step back for emotional response, I just look at their personalities and go, 'you know, these two are just NOT GOOD for each other') but I didn't want you to make you feel bad about your OTP!

I don't want it to end like this either! I was totally depressing me to write it!

I've been missing Kakashi/Sakura incredibly too.

[nekokatsu.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU. There has been a severe lack of KakaSaku lately. I feel like I've been walking through a desert with no water. <3

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

I KNOW. The ficcers need to get cracking on more Kakashi/Sakura fic like, yesterday.

Also, can I just say that I love your icons? Especially the Sai/Sakura one.

[zelha.livejournal.com]

This was simply awesome. :D

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[syl-luvs-silver.livejournal.com]

Simply amazing. Your writing is really powerful - I could pick it apart and each line would stand out on its own. Not quite sure why, but I especially loved this part: He'd watch her grit her teeth, clench her fists until the leather of her gloves moaned, stare at the ground like Icha Icha was written in the dirt, and yet she continued to act like she was continually auditioning for the role of Uchiha Sakura.

A small typo - 'she's snap'.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate you quoting parts you liked in particular - it's very helpful as a writer (also, I feel glad I spent the time fiddling with that line that I did). As well as catching my typos - thanks for the correction.

[bluerising.livejournal.com]

Sweet jeezus, that was good! It's powerful, and there are a lot of fantastic lines, but I'd have to say the one is real heart-clencher. "...he selfishly clung to whatever shards of Haruno Sakura he could get his hands on."

Thanks for filling my Kakasaku fix for the day. ;)

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

You're very welcome! And everyone should get their daily Kakashi/Sakura fix.

I'm glad you linked the ending line - I worried about it. I always have a hard time ending my fics.

[beyondthemoor.livejournal.com]

(Followed the link from the comm, hope you don't mind!)

This is so good, in so many ways! (And kind of heart-breaking at Sakura's self-imposed 'leashing' of her real self.)

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Of course I don't mind! I wouldn't've linked it at the comm if I didn't want people reading and commenting!

And yeah, I find Sakura's self-imposed subjugation of herself is pretty damn tragic.

[nimblnymph.livejournal.com]

Whooooa... *fans self* You created nymph goo. Which, actually, sounds kinda gross.

I really love when you write smut like this. It's dirty and base and the emotions are just straight up gritty. It's incredibly raw but still somehow manages to be sexy.

I know you mentioned something about tensing but I honestly didn't notice anything really odd. You switched where you were supposed to switch. There was only one part that read odd as far as tenses, but since you warned for it I assumed you did it on purpose. And so long as the long sentences work... go for it. I like the way the narrative strings out smoothly. It gives it a rushed, quick-fuck feel, which is appropriate since that's what they're doing.

But I swear to god... she better fucking ditch the Uchiha and his fancy ring. Lord knows he'd NEVER fuck her on a muddy, rain soaked training field.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

And I thought I was switching in the right places (and more importantly, keeping it consistent) but since it was midnight... I wasn't trusting my proof-reading skills.

Thank you so much for the flattering comments! Yeah, it is pretty raw, yet sexy, and I think the style helps get that jagged, fucked up feeling.

But I swear to god... she better fucking ditch the Uchiha and his fancy ring. Lord knows he'd NEVER fuck her on a muddy, rain soaked training field.

Yes, Sakura so, so does.

[sureasdawn.livejournal.com]

Loved it!

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[ereluna.livejournal.com]

OMG... That was awesome! 8D Very well written. Hot and heartbreaking at the same time. How did you accomplish this?

Damn it, Sakura better wake up and smell the sexy man right in front of her, and stop chasing around that little chicken-headed prick. XD

Once again, great job! I love this fic.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Practice?

And I think what Sakura needs to do is wake up and realize she should be with someone who's with the real her.

Thanks so much for your review

[mochalatt3.livejournal.com]

I feel like I'm missing something cuz while I really liked the fic (and the steamy KakaSaku) unlike most of the people who commented before me I can't feel any sympathy for Sakura. She needs to grow a pair, be who she really is, and stop being a cheating ho. There is no justification for that kind of behavior and all Sasuke really needs is one more person betraying him. I mean why is she reverting back to this spineless Stepford? I actually think she's being quite horrible. Don't misunderstand I'm just criticizing her, not the fic itself. I really liked how gritty the whole thing came across. Very fitting for a situation like that, and I also liked how it was from Kakashi's point of view, like he could see so easily who she really was (while Sasuke is obviously in the dark). Good job.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your comment. And while I think Sakura needs to snap out of it, I understand being in a place where not being yourself hurts less than having people leave you.

As for Sasuke... that boy has turned his back on and betrayed so many people and ideals that I have a hard time feeling outraged on his behalf.

[anenko.livejournal.com]

This was wonderfully written, but so very painful to read. They may *all* be bringing pain down on their own heads, but it doesn't make things easier to bear.

Loved this: "clench her fists until the leather of her gloves moaned"

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Thank you. And yes, the fact that it's kind of their own damn fault still makes you ache for them.

I'm pleased you liked that line - I'm proud of it. I like the symbol of her strength being unhappy at her situation, as it were.

[roxnroll.livejournal.com]

Very nicely done. It was beautiful and tragic all the same.
Awesome.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Thank you!