Grab Bag of Fandoms + Real Life

[redbrunja]

I'm really feeling the first week of working six hour shifts - largely because every single afternoon after I'm done with work I've had other things to do and then spending time with mom in the evening and (attempting to go to bed early).

Seriously, today, I worked for six hours, came home and gardened for two (cumulative) hours in the middle of which I had to go run an errand for ma mere.

So, I'm pretty damn bushed at the moment, and am going to be using this evening to cuddle up to my computer and post a bunch of stuff I've mean meaning to, as well as catching up on comments.

Over the past couple of days I've ran into some awesome Star Trek meta (favorite so far is The New OT4 by liviapenn in part because it is an epic smackdown to the 'Uhura is only a love interest argument)  and there was one comment that just hit me:

"one of my tenets of fandom is that no matter how you try to align your politics/ideals and your fannish activity, at a certain baseline there truly is no accounting for taste. Which is probably a corollary of ye olde Fannish Fallacy of Judgment - it's not up to me to judge somebody's quality as a feminist in real life based on what bizarro fiction they get their jollies from. Some people juggle the craziest geese and that's as far as I can go, besides occasionally trying to get people to at least examine their contradictions. That doesn't stop me from judging myself, however."

sainfoin_fields , in rawles' meta on misogyny in fandom relating to Star Trek (well worth reading).

See, this idea that I am bad for loving what I love, even if I love it despite massive flaws that I acknowledge, is something I really struggle with. Why can't I be one of those cool people, I think, who have all live action icons? What is wrong with me that Claymore has not hooked me but I've written eleventy-billion smutty one-shots for Naruto? Why do fics with EPICALLY problematic gender and character issues nonetheless sometimes make my favorites list?

And I can answer all of these with logical answers - that's not the point. The point is that I do think it's important to realize and accept that (speaking personally) what we love or what's worth our fannish time is not always decided by us, you know? That not only is there no accounting for other people's taste, but there is no accounting for our own.

With no segue whatsoever, I would also like to rec a Soul Eater fanfic:

One Damn Thing After Another by metisket  Part 1 and Part 2

"“You’ve got a fever,” she says, coming to settle next to me. She’s wearing her scary black blood dress. She looks great in it. Too bad it means I’m, you know, losing it. And that I can’t think of a way to con her into wearing something like it in real life.

Nah. Then I really would have to beat the boys back with a stick, like Havar said. Maybe I like it best that she doesn’t wear that dress much."

It took me a bit to settle into the first person voice, but when I did is was damn fine. Soul's perspective on his own sanity is delicious and is conviction that Maka is the bes thing since sliced bread is pitch-perfect. Also excellent is the brief glimpse of the Harver/Ox/Jackie love triangle, Soul's loving and sarcastic commentary on Black Star, and that thing that happens in part 2 that I don't want to spoil you for.

Comments

[hieronymousb.livejournal.com]

See, this idea that I am bad for loving what I love, even if I love it despite massive flaws that I acknowledge, is something I really struggle with. Why can't I be one of those cool people, I think, who have all live action icons? What is wrong with me that Claymore has not hooked me but I've written eleventy-billion smutty one-shots for Naruto? Why do fics with EPICALLY problematic gender and character issues nonetheless sometimes make my favorites list?

And I can answer all of these with logical answers - that's not the point. The point is that I do think it's important to realize and accept that (speaking personally) what we love or what's worth our fannish time is no always decided by us, you know? That not only are this there no accounting for other people's taste, but there is no accounting for our own.

Yes, this. I really agree with everything you have said here. Hey, I didn't know I wasn't the only one who sometimes feels a bit lame for not having more/any live action icons, but I do have this little irrational feeling sometimes -- I don't think I've ever confessed it to anyone -- that my words would somehow look more "meaningful" if I had live action icons. Admittedly, it's a bit ridiculous, but there you go.

I just want to say, though, as someone who is very conscientious of gender issues (at least, I think I am more so than a lot of people) and gender dynamics, sometimes I run into a lot of similar concerns. It's like, okay, yeah, I like really gender-subversive pairings and ideas -- but then, oh, well, my favourite 'ship at the moment kind of has traditional gender roles, and how do I reconcile that? [Except to say "traditional" is not inherently wrong anymore than subversive is inherently right: what's wrong, for me, is suggesting there is a One True Way to write het/slash/girl-slash/whatever.]

But I run into it everywhere: if I write girl-slash, I get the sense of -- oh, what if I am objectifying women accidentally? Or what if, by writing about women who are linked by connections to certain men and who discuss the problems many women face re: men (i.e. Anko/Karin on the kinkmeme), am I making a woman-centric piece too male-centric? What is wrong with me that all the girl-slash I've written has featured the women as having more of a "discuss women's issues + have sex / have a clandestine fling", whereas a lot of the het I've written features the man and woman in a known relationship?

This gets me wondering: am I being heteronormative, myself? Or just reacting to how I think women in a heteronormative society might be more likely to behave with regards to relationships? (Uh, as someone who has had two kind of closeted relationships, herself.)

And while I haven't really written slash lately, then you roll around to that, and there's a whole other can of worms: am I treating women unfairly in this male/male piece? (Though actually, that's one avenue which I mostly don't worry about, just because I think I'm conscientious enough of such matters.) Am I being subversive and breaking down traditional masculinity in a positive manner, or am I objectifying men + substituting them in the roles which have traditionally been harmful to women + by proxy being harmful to both genders simultaneously?

And then it's like: where does subversive end and objectification begin, with sexuality?

Ugh, man, that was long, but you see what I'm driving at, I think. It's like, sometimes being hyper-conscious of gender concerns can almost drive you crazy over your own tastes. And that's before you even get to race issues (why did no one claim any of the Killerbee or Cloud Nin prompts on the kinkmeme, for instance? it may mean nothing, but it is interesting to note), but I think at the end of the day, being conscientious is half/most of the battle. We shouldn't beat ourselves up over our tastes. We don't have to be progressive and revolutionary in every single thing we like. And even if something is flawed, or traditional, or reveals the flaws of its culture, it can still have its interesting aspects, and it can still be made interesting and worthwhile, for one reason or another.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

I didn't know I wasn't the only one who sometimes feels a bit lame for not having more/any live action icons, but I do have this little irrational feeling sometimes -- I don't think I've ever confessed it to anyone -- that my words would somehow look more "meaningful" if I had live action icons. Admittedly, it's a bit ridiculous, but there you go.

You're totally not the only one. I have enough live action icons that I can usually comment with one if someone else is, but I think of people going to check out my userpics and thinking I'm less awesome than they would if I had all live actions icons. Instead they're like, 'wow, this chick seems to like a lot of trashy manga!'

What is wrong with me that all the girl-slash I've written has featured the women as having more of a "discuss women's issues + have sex / have a clandestine fling", whereas a lot of the het I've written features the man and woman in a known relationship?

First of all, I do think there is a element of 'women in a male-dominated society would be more likely to do thus'. Honestly, thought, I've noticed a sort-of similar tendency in that I have yet to write a happy Ino x Sakura fic. (Which, again, it's not like the majority my het fic is happy, but it's it's something to note). With Ino x Sakura, it's alway tragic and sort-of doomed, and usually there are men in those fics being used like poker chips. So am I being sterotypical about the classic dead lesbians?

(So the solution is that you write femmeslash with the couple in a established relationship and I write happy InoxSakura, m'kay?)

And then it's like: where does subversive end and objectification begin, with sexuality?

Where is the line between appreciate and objectification end, almost seems to be the more valid question. Because like you said, neither traditional nor subversive is inherently better, but objectification... it's hard to argue that that's ever a good thing.

It's like, sometimes being hyper-conscious of gender concerns can almost drive you crazy over your own tastes.

Agreed.

(why did no one claim any of the Killerbee or Cloud Nin prompts on the kinkmeme, for instance? it may mean nothing, but it is interesting to note)

That is interesting to note. Speaking personally, besides the time issue, the only reason I wasn't more interested in that prompt was that I couldn't quite figure out who was who (I don't have the names memorized yet). But it is worth thinking about.

We don't have to be progressive and revolutionary in every single thing we like. And even if something is flawed, or traditional, or reveals the flaws of its culture, it can still have its interesting aspects, and it can still be made interesting and worthwhile, for one reason or another.

Word. I think the important thing is to be aware and talking about the ways a work fails or succeed according to our standards and not pretend that it's perfect just because we love it.

[birdsarecalling.livejournal.com]

Why can't I be one of those cool people, I think, who have all live action icons?

Oh, man. I struggle with this a lot. There are many live-action shows that I love to pieces - Dexter, 30 Rock, and Lost, to name a few - but I can't seem to get all fannish over them. I've never written fic about a show with real live actors in it. Does that mean I'm mentally twelve or something? What's wrong with me?

In a way, I think it's easier to write fic about problematic source material, because the urge to fix things can provide a lot of inspiration. There's less reason to turn to fanworks when canon is providing everything you want. But many of the live-action shows I watch are just as flawed (in their own ways) as manga, and videogames, and anime, so I can't really use that as an excuse for my preferences.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Does that mean I'm mentally twelve or something? What's wrong with me?

If you figure it out let me know. And part of me thinks that the fandoms for animated manga/shows are just more fun (and have better icons.)

In a way, I think it's easier to write fic about problematic source material, because the urge to fix things can provide a lot of inspiration.

Agreed.

[mewsrissicat.livejournal.com]

What is wrong with me that Claymore has not hooked me but I've written eleventy-billion smutty one-shots for Naruto? Why do fics with EPICALLY problematic gender and character issues nonetheless sometimes make my favorites list?

*little smile* My gosh, you just tripped over my soapbox.

Whether it's people or it's fandom - We may be thrilled by the excellence of a storyline - but I think that what makes something emotionally accessible to another person isn't what it does right - but what it does wrong.

Flawlessly executed stories, perfect people... these don't *need* us. They don't give us a gap that we can hold onto, a need that we can fill in one way or another.

Perfection may thrill us.
But I think it's the flaws that catch our hearts.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

That is a really good point. Honestly, I've noticed that the biggest thing that will make me want to write fic is a story that grips me but is doing one or more things EPICALLY WRONG.

Perfection may thrill us.
But I think it's the flaws that catch our hearts.

This is a very interesting thing to ponder. Great point.