So Damn Easy To Love

[redbrunja]

 

"Why Don't You Love Me" - Beyoncé from Beyoncé on Vimeo.

Conforms to damaging sexual norms/feminist critique of the most common ways women try to please men and their inherent fail? Discuss.

Comments

[fairest1.livejournal.com]

[sekaigo.livejournal.com]

Hm. I honestly can't decide one way or another, although I'm sort of leaning toward the latter. I'd like to hear what she has to say about the message behind it.

In any case... ow. There's something very raw and very painful about it, which is an interesting effect given how perfectly put-together she is. And I have to say, I'm a fan of the song.

[mewsrissicat.livejournal.com]

Gut level says that it's both pastiche and critique, not reinforcement of socio-sexual norms.

The pastiche is of the book the spawned the Anti-Feminist movement, "The Total Woman". (If you haven't read it, you might recall the gist of it from the movie Fried Green Tomatoes. My step Mom gave it to me to read at 16.) Effectively, the upshot of the book is: See to his every physical need, and be his every sexual fantasy, and your man will love you. Neglect him, and you're the one to blame if he strays. Talk about damaging... subsume everything you are or need to validate someone else's existance... *grrrr*

I also noted as I watched that the chirpy housewive's expressions occasionally slipped and drifted into surly.

Ultimately, though, despite the sexy-perky act... she's angry that he he doesn't love her despite all she gave up "for" him. The futility of trying to force someone to love you by shoe-horning yourself into the fantasy sex roles couldn't be clearer.

[mildmay.livejournal.com]

It seems to pretty obviously be a critique to me. The message seems to be that the attitude being presented is damaging.

I liked it.

[wicked-seraph.livejournal.com]

Whether she meant to merely poke fun at such damaging ideas, or to seriously criticise them is uncertain, but I don't think that she's actually buying into the "pleasing mate = everyone should be happy" notion.

That being said, I truly hope my hope is not misplaced.

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

I prefer to view it as the spiritual successor to this:



Also, Beyonce can never be blonde again.

[cynchick.livejournal.com]

Hmm, maybe he doesn't love her because she's not a real person and is more of a prepackaged cutout?

Seriously though, I think Beyonce is being critical here, but I agree that her sexualization negates the message. Even more than that, I only recognize the real intent of the song because as a feminist I know how to spot those things. Most girls who see/hear this will not, they will take it at surface value and as prescriptive. Young and old, but especially young. She's being too subtle for the mass audience, and therefore she's actually contradicting herself.

[hungrytiger11.livejournal.com]

I thought it was pretty obviously a critique of the stereotypes/cultural norms women are told will make a man love them. There was that repeated like about " I make me so damn easy to love" So the woman is always changing herself. The over-sexed outfits actually seemed to be working to that critique too, being so over the top as to be farces. It surprised me to read comments on Youtube showing people didn't take it as farce or there to make a point.

Of course, I think her choice to constantly sexualize the singer/character is both meant to point out the issues but also to help sell. I'm not sure if that is undermining the message or her trying to have her cake and eat it too by getting the people who like the message and the costumes will attract some of those who don't....

[fonsetorigo.livejournal.com]

the latter for me.

'cause in the end, I think Beyonce has a bit more respect.

And call me reading to much into it, but she's been making film clips with Lady Gaga, Gaga's fucked up messages might of rubbed off?

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

For me it's tricky, because there's the song and there's the imagery, and I mostly paid attention to the imagery, ignoring most of the verses.

I'm going to go with "mostly a feminist critique" for the video, with a side caveat of the fact that Beyonce seems to be close to naked in most of the videos I've seen lately and this was no exception, which is a sexist requirement of women in music.

Overall? I liked it. I think it benefited from the fact that we see a descent of the characters as their efforts to be perfect stereotypes fall apart from inherent silliness. I'm not a big fan of the fact that the song discusses a woman who apparently has everything yet is still obsessed about not getting a man's approval, yet I appreciated that she ended the song with "Well, maybe you're dumb."

ETA: I like Beyonce's sense of silly theater; she pulls it off.

[terenewen.livejournal.com]

I'm going to cry feminist.

Throughout the whole song (though I may have been influenced by the comments here) I felt like she was saying, "Here I am, I'm beautiful and talented and you're stupid for not seeing it".
With video, that's when the "changing to please men" element comes into it for me... and I think she's treating that idea with a great amount of hostility. The perfect homemaker women in the video are awkward and unglamorous, nothing that anyone would aspire to be.

By contrast, I think in this video she's at her most beautiful when she's screaming at him on the phone. Sure, it's a breakdown moment, and she's ending up broken, but it seems to me like the rock bottom that the character will have to hit to wake up and move on. Optimist power!

[numara.livejournal.com]

i definitely got the latter out of this video. to me, it was about how the man she wants doesn't want to be with her because she isn't conventionally a good housewife/doesn't know how to play the stereotypical role of a woman despite being being beautiful and successful in other areas. which, according to the song, makes him "plain dumb".