![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
Summer Movie Bonanza
So, in the last week and a half, I have watched Captain America, Thor, and Cowboys & Aliens.
Before I get into the specifics of the movies, let me just list my main complaint with all of them: they all do a terrible job with the ladies. Like, legitimately worse than normal for a superhero movie, so it's not like I ever had high hopes. In Captain America, it is abundantly clear that CA's girlfriend is just there to be his girlfriend and cheerleader, Cowboys & Aliens has not one, not two, but three ladies in refrigerators (one of which a. I do not find attractive and b. spends 80% of the movie in a really, really unfortunate peach/yellow atrocity of a dress. with terrible hair.). Thor is actually decent; not fantastic but there is more than one female character and the ladies all have clearly distinct personalities and desires. So, Thor gets a B minus, the other two straight up Fs. (I have literally marked on my calander the day when Colombiana is released; I feel like seeing Zoe Saladana as a ruthless assassin its going to be my reward for watching all these movies about white dudes, their penises, and their DUDE FEELINGS, SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOURS.
Captain America: My feeling about this movie whiplash so much. See, I do not enjoy feeling embarrassed for characters, so just about everything pre-Steve being transformed was KIND OF UNCOMFORTABLE FOR ME. As was Steve's turn as a propaganda ploy (that said, great way to tie Captain America's original purpose into the updated movie). So that's a good half of the movie where I was squirming in my seat, and not in 'Chris Evans, get into my pants' way. That said, CHRIS EVANS, GET INTO MY PANTS. Seriously, I can't think of a character I've seen that man play that I didn't enjoy. (Also, the tan pants/white, tight t-shirt combo was really working for me.) Frankly, my favorite scenes were the ones where you just got to see him act. Like, I adored the scene with Peggy in the bombed out bar, where he's talking about how he can't get drunk anymore. (Also, this movie had some really crap special effects. That scene where he's chasing after the nazi post-transformation should have been awesome but wasn't at all. Except for the little kid. That was brilliant.)
And then we have the teaser for The Avengers, coming next summer and when I saw Cobie Smulders I LITERALLY SQUEALED IN THE THEATER. Oh my god can it please be next summer, the summer of The Avengers (written and directed by Joss freaking Whedon) and containing Iron Man, Black Widow, Thor, Captain America, Cobie Smulders as somebody badass, and maybe a Pepper Potts cameo? Paltrow is listed on the imdb page. Seriously, just thinking about how much awesome is in that movie makes me feel like I need to lie down. POSSIBLY ON TOP OF CAPTAIN AMERICA, BECAUSE I'M PATRIOTIC LIKE THAT.
Thor: After a slow beginning (blah, blah, Asgard, get back to Earth faster please) this movie really feels like a great comic book movie. Which is to say, it had humor (DARCY; THOR GETTING HIT BY CARS; "XENA, ROBIN HOOD, AND JACKIE CHAN"; THE BEER DRINKING, BASICALLY, EVERYTHING THOR DID ON EARTH), drama (the fight leading up to Thor not being able to lift the hammer was seriously A++) and I really appreciated dirty, sopping wet Viking on the big screen, and romance (Thor's hand-kisses were AWESOME).
While this movie was severally dude-centric, I did appreciate that there were several types of different ladies wandering around and while they didn't get the narrative attention that Thor and Loki received, we did get a solid sense of who they were (and they did get more time than the other supporting male characters). So, not fantastic, but not as frustrating as CA or C&A.
Also, I had seen Loki/Sif fics recced on![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
het_reccers so went into the movie prepped for that... which I saw enough hints to make me seek out the fic and frankly, SIF/LOKI FANDOM IS AWESOME AND TOTALLY WORTH THE PRICE OF THE TICKET JUST TO HAVE CONTEXT. (Fandom: I may be doing it wrong.)
To bring my babblings to some semblance of coherency, Thor was enjoyable but would have been a much better movie if they'd set more of the action on earth and cut a lot of the Asgard stuff. That, and Loki's origin/character arc leads to some really, really unfortunate 'blood will tell' implications. Like, I feel really sorry for every adopted person who watched that film, because I felt like it basically said 'if you're adopted you will be less awesome than the child by blood and also evil.'
Cowboys & Aliens: Daniel Craig is a cowboy. For two hours. His ass is amazing. As are the fight scenes. Especially the first one. But basically: Daniel Craig, you keep doing what you're doing. DANIEL CRAIG WAS AN AMAZING, BADASS COWBOY. CHAPS. FIGHTING. AS A COWBOY. MY PANTIES MIGHT HAVE GOTTEN SCORCHED. REMEMBER THAT TIME HE WAS ALL BLOODY? AND THERE WAS SHIRT LIFTING. AND CHAPS. WHILE HE WAS LACONIC. HE WAS A LACONIC, BLOODY COWBOY. DID I MENTION HIS ASS WAS AMAZING? AND SOMETIMES JUST THE WAY HE STOOD MADE ME WANT TO KNOCK HIM DOWN AND HAVE MY WAY WITH HIM.
DANIEL CRAIG WAS A COWBOY.
Other than that, there was some lame father-and-son narratives and some really cliched native american stuff. I personally found the aliens to be really creepy and cool and gross in this awesome way. And oh my god the new Mexico scenery was so gorgeously barren and rich. It literally made me consider how many air miles I have and what it would cost to take a vacation.
Before I get into the specifics of the movies, let me just list my main complaint with all of them: they all do a terrible job with the ladies. Like, legitimately worse than normal for a superhero movie, so it's not like I ever had high hopes. In Captain America, it is abundantly clear that CA's girlfriend is just there to be his girlfriend and cheerleader, Cowboys & Aliens has not one, not two, but three ladies in refrigerators (one of which a. I do not find attractive and b. spends 80% of the movie in a really, really unfortunate peach/yellow atrocity of a dress. with terrible hair.). Thor is actually decent; not fantastic but there is more than one female character and the ladies all have clearly distinct personalities and desires. So, Thor gets a B minus, the other two straight up Fs. (I have literally marked on my calander the day when Colombiana is released; I feel like seeing Zoe Saladana as a ruthless assassin its going to be my reward for watching all these movies about white dudes, their penises, and their DUDE FEELINGS, SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOURS.
Captain America: My feeling about this movie whiplash so much. See, I do not enjoy feeling embarrassed for characters, so just about everything pre-Steve being transformed was KIND OF UNCOMFORTABLE FOR ME. As was Steve's turn as a propaganda ploy (that said, great way to tie Captain America's original purpose into the updated movie). So that's a good half of the movie where I was squirming in my seat, and not in 'Chris Evans, get into my pants' way. That said, CHRIS EVANS, GET INTO MY PANTS. Seriously, I can't think of a character I've seen that man play that I didn't enjoy. (Also, the tan pants/white, tight t-shirt combo was really working for me.) Frankly, my favorite scenes were the ones where you just got to see him act. Like, I adored the scene with Peggy in the bombed out bar, where he's talking about how he can't get drunk anymore. (Also, this movie had some really crap special effects. That scene where he's chasing after the nazi post-transformation should have been awesome but wasn't at all. Except for the little kid. That was brilliant.)
And then we have the teaser for The Avengers, coming next summer and when I saw Cobie Smulders I LITERALLY SQUEALED IN THE THEATER. Oh my god can it please be next summer, the summer of The Avengers (written and directed by Joss freaking Whedon) and containing Iron Man, Black Widow, Thor, Captain America, Cobie Smulders as somebody badass, and maybe a Pepper Potts cameo? Paltrow is listed on the imdb page. Seriously, just thinking about how much awesome is in that movie makes me feel like I need to lie down. POSSIBLY ON TOP OF CAPTAIN AMERICA, BECAUSE I'M PATRIOTIC LIKE THAT.
Thor: After a slow beginning (blah, blah, Asgard, get back to Earth faster please) this movie really feels like a great comic book movie. Which is to say, it had humor (DARCY; THOR GETTING HIT BY CARS; "XENA, ROBIN HOOD, AND JACKIE CHAN"; THE BEER DRINKING, BASICALLY, EVERYTHING THOR DID ON EARTH), drama (the fight leading up to Thor not being able to lift the hammer was seriously A++) and I really appreciated dirty, sopping wet Viking on the big screen, and romance (Thor's hand-kisses were AWESOME).
While this movie was severally dude-centric, I did appreciate that there were several types of different ladies wandering around and while they didn't get the narrative attention that Thor and Loki received, we did get a solid sense of who they were (and they did get more time than the other supporting male characters). So, not fantastic, but not as frustrating as CA or C&A.
Also, I had seen Loki/Sif fics recced on
het_reccers so went into the movie prepped for that... which I saw enough hints to make me seek out the fic and frankly, SIF/LOKI FANDOM IS AWESOME AND TOTALLY WORTH THE PRICE OF THE TICKET JUST TO HAVE CONTEXT. (Fandom: I may be doing it wrong.)To bring my babblings to some semblance of coherency, Thor was enjoyable but would have been a much better movie if they'd set more of the action on earth and cut a lot of the Asgard stuff. That, and Loki's origin/character arc leads to some really, really unfortunate 'blood will tell' implications. Like, I feel really sorry for every adopted person who watched that film, because I felt like it basically said 'if you're adopted you will be less awesome than the child by blood and also evil.'
Cowboys & Aliens: Daniel Craig is a cowboy. For two hours. His ass is amazing. As are the fight scenes. Especially the first one. But basically: Daniel Craig, you keep doing what you're doing. DANIEL CRAIG WAS AN AMAZING, BADASS COWBOY. CHAPS. FIGHTING. AS A COWBOY. MY PANTIES MIGHT HAVE GOTTEN SCORCHED. REMEMBER THAT TIME HE WAS ALL BLOODY? AND THERE WAS SHIRT LIFTING. AND CHAPS. WHILE HE WAS LACONIC. HE WAS A LACONIC, BLOODY COWBOY. DID I MENTION HIS ASS WAS AMAZING? AND SOMETIMES JUST THE WAY HE STOOD MADE ME WANT TO KNOCK HIM DOWN AND HAVE MY WAY WITH HIM.
DANIEL CRAIG WAS A COWBOY.
Other than that, there was some lame father-and-son narratives and some really cliched native american stuff. I personally found the aliens to be really creepy and cool and gross in this awesome way. And oh my god the new Mexico scenery was so gorgeously barren and rich. It literally made me consider how many air miles I have and what it would cost to take a vacation.