Wednesday, February 13th, 2013 10:04 am
phchiubanner12

01 Post prompts. Fandom, character/pairing, prompt. (One prompt per comment, please.) All fandoms, all characters, and all pairings welcome.

02 Write.

03 Profit!
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Thursday, February 14th, 2013 12:05 am (UTC)
I have only read a little Hawkeye, not enough to write you a crossover, so I wrote you this instead. It is Steph and Damian, and I am not clever enough to come up with a title:

“Why are you reading comic books?” When Steph lowers the latest issue of Hawkeye, there are roughly two inches of space separating her from Damian’s scowling face. Ugh, why? It figures that the one time, the one time Batman wants her to do anything, it would be “wait in the safe house with Robin and don’t let him kill anything.” Fun times.

“Why are you not?” Steph counters, leaning back in her chair.

“Because we are on a mission,” Damian says, tipping his chin up like the smug little monster he is. “And I am not an infant.”

“Damian, we have been sitting here for,” she looks at the clock. “Five hours. I think the mission has been canceled for tonight. We’re just waiting for Batman to give us a ride home at this point. You can read a comic book if you really want to.”

Damian appears to consider this fleetingly, then sniffs, “As I said, comics are for children. I read the complete War and Peace at age seven.”

Steph boggles. “I’m…sorry?” This is clearly the wrong response, because Damian looks like he wants to hit her. Obviously a change of tactics is in order. “Look, kid, I’ve been reading comics since I was in kindergarten. I’m in college now. If they were for babies, don’t you think I’d know about it by now?”

“No,” Damian says flatly.

When Batman gets back, Steph is definitely informing him that he owes her for five hours and counting of babysitting, because seriously. “Just look at this. Look at the cover. How old do you think Hawkeye is?”

“I do not know who or what a ‘hawkeye’ is, and I do not care.”

“Okay, no, this is unacceptable. It is pop culture lesson time.”

Damian looks severely unimpressed.

“Do not even pretend with me that Dick doesn’t make you learn things. I have seen the little quizzes. You are currently failing ‘Hit Songs of the 70’s.’”

“Tell anyone that and you die,” Damian hisses.

“It’s okay, I sympathize. The 70’s were kind of the worst decade to exist. There was, you know, disco.” Steph shivers. “Anyway, we’re not going to think about that, we’re thinking about happy shiny things, like comics that are printed mostly in purple. Just look at that. I dig the purple.”

“I fail to see how color is at all relevant.”

Steph gives him a meaningful look. “You’re the one wearing an outfit that matches a traffic light. I’d hope the color is relevant to something, or your family is just really awful at picking out clothes.”

Damian kicks her chair. Steph chooses to ignore this. “Anyway. So in this magical vista of purple, there is Hawkeye, and there is Hawkeye. They are both awesome, and together—”

“Why do they have the same name?”

“Because…sharing is caring?”

“What.”

“I don’t know why they have the same name, okay, shush. But this is Clint, and he has a puppy with one eye, and this is Kate, and she is the most fabulous person in the history of ever.”

Damian looks skeptical.

“It’s true. She is.”

Still skeptical.

“It’s cool, you don’t have to believe me. You’ll find out for yourself when you read it, for it is Known Fact. Anyway, so they are both Hawkeye, and they’re both the best archer in the world—“

“How can they both be the best archer in the world?”

“Fine, they are the best archers in the world, plural.”

“This is stupid. If I cared about archery, I would find Father’s Justice League reports and read about Green Arrow. I took target practice with my mother when I was a child. I am not impressed.”

Steph wants to bang her head on the window. That would probably be a bad idea, though—safe house and all. The sun is starting to come up, but Batman has shown no signs of returning to free her from the Babysitting Mission of Doom. Well, the sunrise is sort of purple, anyway. Everyone says that’s just the pollution, but she still thinks it’s kind of cool.

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Thursday, February 14th, 2013 07:19 pm (UTC)
No one can ever forget Discowing. :P

You're welcome, I'm glad you liked it! :)
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Thursday, February 14th, 2013 10:14 pm (UTC)
Oh my goodness, is he wearing yellow facepaint? And is that Robin's horrified expression in the foreground?

Dick really has no competition for "least capable of picking out own clothes" in the Batfamily. Until maybe Tim put actual feathers on his costume, that was pretty ridiculous.
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Thursday, February 14th, 2013 10:34 pm (UTC)
He's just so serious about the whole thing, while he is descending from a hole in the ceiling dressed like a terrible Elvis impersonator and making the least intimidating intimidation speech ever. Never change, Dick.

Maybe Tim broke too many cowls or something and they were like, Tim THAT IS IT, you get to wear this reject costume from the Bat-Attic that Dick made and never wore like ten years ago. Because seriously I cannot imagine very many scenarios in which a) Tim wants that much attention drawn to himself b) Batman is down with feathers and c) it is not just wildly impractical.
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Thursday, February 14th, 2013 10:40 pm (UTC)
Yeah, his old uniform was not very good, either. Maybe it is just, like, A Thing, that at all times there must be someone related to Batman designated as the Wearer of the Embarrassing Uniform. :P
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Thursday, February 14th, 2013 10:48 pm (UTC)
All very true. :P
Wednesday, February 13th, 2013 06:49 pm (UTC)
Razer/Aya-Queen.

I so need to take part in this holiday properly next year. I can't believe I forgot about it!
Wednesday, February 13th, 2013 06:50 pm (UTC)
The Hour, Lix/Freddie, still frame
Wednesday, February 13th, 2013 06:50 pm (UTC)
Superboy/Miss Martian-End of The World.
Wednesday, February 13th, 2013 06:50 pm (UTC)
The Hour, Lix/Bel, sleeping at the office
Wednesday, February 13th, 2013 06:51 pm (UTC)
Parks, Ben/Leslie, christening the new house
Wednesday, February 13th, 2013 06:54 pm (UTC)
The Hour, Lix Storm, Spanish Civil War - behind enemy lines
Wednesday, February 13th, 2013 06:55 pm (UTC)
The Hour, Lix Storm, she has never spoken of him - the wedding ring
Wednesday, February 13th, 2013 06:55 pm (UTC)
Lizzie Bennet Diaries, Lizzie/Darcy, false starts
Wednesday, February 13th, 2013 07:36 pm (UTC)
Once Upon A Time, Regina, I'm gonna make a mistake/I'm gonna make it on purpose
Wednesday, February 13th, 2013 09:43 pm (UTC)
DCU, Stephanie Brown, it's all, not one, I love everything
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Wednesday, February 13th, 2013 10:22 pm (UTC)
Stephanie thinks that she can relate. And if her internal monologue thinks it's a little weird, even for her, to go around identifying with a city - well.
Aww! Steph would totally have a stubborn ladies bonding moment with Gotham, and then be confused by what just happened. This is why everyone else thinks Steph is nuts, but in fact she is just more well-adjusted than them. :P

Thank you! :)
Wednesday, February 13th, 2013 09:47 pm (UTC)
DCU, Kara Zor-El, so you were born in an electrical storm/took a bite out the sun/saw your future in a machine built for two
Thursday, February 14th, 2013 12:17 am (UTC)
Avengers - Jane/Thor - She never liked the story of Icarus very much.
Thursday, February 14th, 2013 04:07 am (UTC)
Luther, Jenny Jones,
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.

Thursday, February 14th, 2013 04:08 am (UTC)
The Hour, Kiki, The boys, the girls, they all like Carmen//She gives them butterflies, bats her cartoon eyes//She laughs like god, her mind's like a diamond
Thursday, February 14th, 2013 04:27 am (UTC)
Hawkeye, Clint Barton, wish I was a slave to an age-old trade, like riding around on railcars or working long days.
Edited 2013-02-14 04:29 am (UTC)
Thursday, February 14th, 2013 04:29 am (UTC)
Once Upon A Time, Regina/Emma, You said I could have anything I wanted, but I just couldn’t say it out loud.
Thursday, February 14th, 2013 04:30 am (UTC)
Hawkeye, Kate/Clint, slumming.
Thursday, February 14th, 2013 04:32 am (UTC)
Iron Man, Tony/Pepper, you’ve gotta be big to treat pretty girls bad.
Thursday, February 14th, 2013 04:33 am (UTC)
North & South, Margaret/Mr. Thornton, snowfall.
Thursday, February 14th, 2013 05:36 am (UTC)
Avengers - Jane/Thor - She knew a man who thought he was the sun and his body shone and burned like a star.
Thursday, February 14th, 2013 11:20 am (UTC)
DCU, Stephanie Brown/anyone, well, that was unexpected
Thursday, February 14th, 2013 11:21 am (UTC)
Marvel 616, Clint Barton & or / Kate Bishop, it's not a joke
Thursday, February 14th, 2013 11:23 am (UTC)
Marvel 616, Laura Kinney, my bloody valentine
Thursday, February 14th, 2013 10:21 pm (UTC)
DCU, Bette Kane, and do it all although you can't believe it/youth knows no pain
Thursday, February 14th, 2013 10:23 pm (UTC)
DCU, Kate Kane, back pockets full of dynamite