I'm So Tired Of Being Tired

[redbrunja]

I swear, right now, I want to quit fandom.

No, there is nothing hugely dramatic prompting this. I am just so, so weary of the ingrained sexism and the fandom drama and the female character hate and the shipping wars.

I feel like declaring that after July, I'm going to go back to western tv and liveaction fandoms, because when two very different mangakas annoy me in exactly the same way in one fucking evening, and my own over-investment in a pairing + spoilers + the damn fandom itself is threatening to ruin the show that ruined me for anime....

Something is very wrong here.

(And then I remember that my previous happy skippy live action comedy show is killing my love, as is my current sci-fi drama, my last sci-fi drama betrayed me horribly, and my last girl-centric show was torturous near the end, and I realize I'm going to need to go back to reading books and give myself time to let the wounds heal.)

Comments

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

re: sexism and female-character hate,

The only place where I expose myself to that in fandom is The Pit. Otherwise I stick to my flist and I am very proud of the people I have added there for being reasonable, intelligent, forward-minded folk who will rip a sexist paragraph seven ways to Wednesday.

I am part of over 100 communities but only keep a few on my flist, so I skip a lot of general fandom crap. I've learned to insulate myself for self-preservation.

I have found that once you're in fandom, fandom's in you. Even if you give up the internet side of it, you end up recreating those conversations and discussions with friends or family members, wanting to go into intense detail about why such and such is a symbol or a parallel in the film or in the book and what X means and why Y is against X and isn't it so FASCINATING? And they're like... "What? You're thinking too hard about this."

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

I think part of the problem with having the awesome flist I do, is that even if I don't find it myself, they'll find stuff, so I'll get it second hand.

Oh, part of what makes this post a totally rail against fate is that I was fandoming before I found fandom, which basically means I'm fucked. And I already drive my mother insane enough with the conversations we have.