Two Things That I Do Not Think Work In Fic, Ever

[redbrunja]

"..."

In your fanfic "..." just looks dumb.

Yes, manga uses it all the time but manga is a visual medium. Fanfic is not. It works in manga because not only do you have dot dot dot, you also (usually) have the character's facial expression, posture, and (often) what they're reacting to in the very same panel as '...'.

When you're writing fanfic, using "..." makes me think you're a.) too dumb or b.) too lazy to tell us how the character reacted. Are they blinking in shock, is their mouth open, are they staring blank-faced ahead, what?

cum

I hate this word. A lot of smut writes who I otherwise enjoy use it and every time the misspelling comes up on my screen, I flinch inside.

First of all, it's just an ugly word.

'Cum' just reminds me too much of 'scum' which makes me think of something I should scrap off my boots after I visit a dive bar. And hey, maybe that's your intention - gritty, dirty, ugly sex between characters who hate each other. To which I say, please show me through setting and action that it's gritty, dirty, ugly sex (and also, vocabulary like fuck, rough, and cunt which, while not exclusively the province of gritty, dirty, ugly sex is definitely on the 'realistic' side of the metaphor/realistic smut scale).

Besides which, whenever I see the word 'cum' I am invariable reminded of fanfics with lines like, "'So, do you like it Ruff, Hermione," said Draco.' Which 1.) is a direct quote from a fanfic I read long, long ago and 2.) I'm very sorry for making you read that.

Lastly, misspelling 'come' to make it clear we're referring to someone's climax is unnecessary.

I am very good at context clues. For example, I can easily tell the difference between 'Sasuke comes into the entryway' and 'Sasuke arrives home in time to see Kakashi pounding himself into Sakura as they fuck against the wall; Kakashi's fingers digging into her hips and face contorting as he comes.'

Comments

[iapetusneume.livejournal.com]

For the life of me, I can't remember if I've ever used "..." in a fanfic before. I don't think so? But I know I've read it before. Sometimes even in decent fanfics. I can see why it would be annoying, and yes, it shouldn't be an easy way out for writing. I know I'd prefer a description of the character's face or something instead of an ellipse in quotations.

As for cum... oh god, I hate that word. Though I have to admit I always thought it was because I am so picky about wording in smut I read. I'm glad to see this is not the case! I kind-of always imagined that when people write it, they giggle and so I associate the word with immaturity. I don't think I've ever read a good fanfic that used it.

I also think that part of the problem with smutfic is... well, dialouge that sounds hot while you're getting it on often sounds silly when you're just reading it and not being aroused. So if you're reading a really bad smutfic and there's no arousal on your end, the dialouge is going to be even worse.

Smutfic is so difficult to write, and I think this is part of the reason. This is because different things turn an individual person on, and also I think that some people don't know how to use the correct vocabulary for certain pairings. Some will require a rougher vocab, and some will require a softer one. Using the incorrect one will make the fic sour quickly.

(As a sidenote on the Cunt debate, I've personally never gotten why it's such a horrible insult. I don't use it because of the stigma in society over it, but also because I don't use the harsher words. I don't use 'cock' either in fic or RP. It's just... not in my smutfic writing style. Hell, I try to talk around body parts so I don't have to worry about using a specific word. (I think I usually chose 'arousal' for men. It's been a long time since I've written smut involving a woman - man, it's been long since I've written smut at all - so I can't really remember what I used to describe the clitoris and vagina.)

I am way too wordy for 3AM.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

*nods*

Yeah, I've read both of the things I'm complaining about in otherwise good fanfics.

I'm glad to see this is not the case! I kind-of always imagined that when people write it, they giggle and so I associate the word with immaturity.

SAME! I immediately think of twelve-year olds who are just discovering OMG sex.

Smutfic is so difficult to write, and I think this is part of the reason. This is because different things turn an individual person on, and also I think that some people don't know how to use the correct vocabulary for certain pairings.

Both of these are true. However, for the first, I do think that well written smut will 1.) turn you on even if you didn't start in the mood and 2.) I believe that if something's well-written, you can appreciate it, even if somethings not quite working for you.

As a sidenote on the Cunt debate, I've personally never gotten why it's such a horrible insult.

I think because in our patriarchal culture, equating someone with something so inescapably and primally female and the sex organs is really, really insulting. I'm not saying that's right, I'm saying that's probably why it has so much power.

Hell, I try to talk around body parts so I don't have to worry about using a specific word.

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, it really depends on the character. I have to admit, though, I adore writing smut for characters like Jiraiya or Gojyo where I can just turn the raunchy up to eleven.

[iapetusneume.livejournal.com]

However, for the first, I do think that well written smut will 1.) turn you on even if you didn't start in the mood and 2.) I believe that if something's well-written, you can appreciate it, even if somethings not quite working for you.

Oh I definitely agree with you. I think I might have just worded my statement badly. What I was trying to say is that "Come for me, baby," isn't going to save a smutfic and arouse me at all if the fic is already bad. So pretty much, it's an improper use of vocab, but mostly earlier in the story. Dirty talk and words aren't going to save a smutfic if the rest of it is crap, and it's only going to make it worse, in my opinion.

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, it really depends on the character. I have to admit, though, I adore writing smut for characters like Jiraiya or Gojyo where I can just turn the raunchy up to eleven.

Yeah, I wouldn't mind reading raunchy smutfic for them, because it fits their characters. I can... read a larger variety of vocab in smutfics than I can write. It's perplexing! I don't quite understand it myself.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

What I was trying to say is that "Come for me, baby," isn't going to save a smutfic and arouse me at all if the fic is already bad. So pretty much, it's an improper use of vocab, but mostly earlier in the story. Dirty talk and words aren't going to save a smutfic if the rest of it is crap, and it's only going to make it worse, in my opinion.

Oh, very, very true. On the subject of 'come for me' - god, I am SO sick of it. Honestly, at this point, I'd like to read a fic where someone says that, and the girl is like, 'dude, I am not even CLOSE.'

[smillaraaq.livejournal.com]

I have to admit, though, I adore writing smut for characters like Jiraiya or Gojyo where I can just turn the raunchy up to eleven

*nods* And that's a big thing that sometimes gets missed in these sorts of discussions -- your personal preferences for vocabulary may not necessarily line up with the sort of language a particular CHARACTER would use, and that's really important to keep in mind if you're writing dialog or a tight character-focused POV. Raunchy, cheerfully vulgar characters like Gojyo or Revy are not going to sound right saying/thinking more polite or clinical terms that would seem natural for someone fussy like Hakkai or Remus, or more euphemistic terms that might fit a younger, inexperienced and sheltered character.

I'm not wild about the "cum" spelling myself, not out of any squeamishness but just because the spelling looks wrong to me on the page...not to the point where it throws me right out of a fic, but I do sort of sigh inwardly and red-pencil it in my head as I read along. But that's definitely mitigated if the writer is using it purely as a noun rather than a verb, and it is much much easier for me to forgive either if it fits the typical speech/thought patterns of the character involved.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

And that's a big thing that sometimes gets missed in these sorts of discussions -- your personal preferences for vocabulary may not necessarily line up with the sort of language a particular CHARACTER would use, and that's really important to keep in mind if you're writing dialog or a tight character-focused POV.

That is a really good point. A character's personality and sexual experience are going to have a HUGE impact on what they say and how they feel about what they're saying.