Two Things That I Do Not Think Work In Fic, Ever

[redbrunja]

"..."

In your fanfic "..." just looks dumb.

Yes, manga uses it all the time but manga is a visual medium. Fanfic is not. It works in manga because not only do you have dot dot dot, you also (usually) have the character's facial expression, posture, and (often) what they're reacting to in the very same panel as '...'.

When you're writing fanfic, using "..." makes me think you're a.) too dumb or b.) too lazy to tell us how the character reacted. Are they blinking in shock, is their mouth open, are they staring blank-faced ahead, what?

cum

I hate this word. A lot of smut writes who I otherwise enjoy use it and every time the misspelling comes up on my screen, I flinch inside.

First of all, it's just an ugly word.

'Cum' just reminds me too much of 'scum' which makes me think of something I should scrap off my boots after I visit a dive bar. And hey, maybe that's your intention - gritty, dirty, ugly sex between characters who hate each other. To which I say, please show me through setting and action that it's gritty, dirty, ugly sex (and also, vocabulary like fuck, rough, and cunt which, while not exclusively the province of gritty, dirty, ugly sex is definitely on the 'realistic' side of the metaphor/realistic smut scale).

Besides which, whenever I see the word 'cum' I am invariable reminded of fanfics with lines like, "'So, do you like it Ruff, Hermione," said Draco.' Which 1.) is a direct quote from a fanfic I read long, long ago and 2.) I'm very sorry for making you read that.

Lastly, misspelling 'come' to make it clear we're referring to someone's climax is unnecessary.

I am very good at context clues. For example, I can easily tell the difference between 'Sasuke comes into the entryway' and 'Sasuke arrives home in time to see Kakashi pounding himself into Sakura as they fuck against the wall; Kakashi's fingers digging into her hips and face contorting as he comes.'

Comments

[cynchick.livejournal.com]

Lol. So true.

I think, maybe, Ive been guilty of "..." in early writing, but I certainly wouldnt do it now. In visual media like manga its meant to show that theyre thinking, but not speaking said thoughts, usually because theyre stunned silent or WTFing. But in text theres really no excuse to not explain it.

And I think "cum" is meant to be a slang for the actual seminal substance, not the act of "coming", but it all gets confused.

Yeah...I dont use vulgar porny words in my smut. I find them to be unsexy and distracting from the hotness. I dont even use common words for genetalia other than mild things like man/womanhood, member...lol. I think I used cock once, but I was writing deliberately raunchy. There was one author in particular, angel-puppeteer, who wrote extremely graphic lemons, and graphicness of them wasnt what was bad, but she used such vulgar word choice, like "finger-fucking" and other nastiness, like fluids oozing out of holes and such. It was such a turn off to what was an interesting fic. I stopped reading.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

In visual media like manga its meant to show that theyre thinking, but not speaking said thoughts, usually because theyre stunned silent or WTFing. But in text theres really no excuse to not explain it.

*nods* It works in manga, but in written fiction, it just doesn't give the reader enough information to visualize, imho.

And I think "cum" is meant to be a slang for the actual seminal substance, not the act of "coming", but it all gets confused.

This is true. Most of the time, now, I see it as 'cum for me' or 'i'm cumming' and it's just... does. not. work. And even if you're looking for a word for semen.... there are much better words to use!

I find them to be unsexy and distracting from the hotness. I dont even use common words for genetalia other than mild things like man/womanhood, member...lol. I think I used cock once, but I was writing deliberately raunchy.

See, for me it depends. I honestly find words that are a little bit more earthy sexier than smut that gets really metaphor. (And of course, a lot of this depends on the characters inolved - I write Zutara smut much more metaphoric and vague than, say, Karin/Suigtesu, which is like, bring the swear words.)

So, for me 'finger-fucking' could be really sexy - but too much fluid is a total turn off for me.

[cynchick.livejournal.com]

Oh I dont mean metaphoric sex, necessarily. More like, well..youve read my lemons. XD I like raunchy, but not vulgar, and its true, depending on the couple and how they feel about each other, certain levels of raunch are more appropriate. But like, I can think of ways to write kinky or angry or raunchy sex without using icky words like the C word (not cock, the other one, which I dont use). I mean, I wrote hot, heavy, angry spontaneous wallsex without using any word naughtier than nipple. It CAN be done. Also, I know noises happen during sex, but reading about any sort of squelching or oozing or dripping down thighs (or chins) is just...NO.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

This is true. I mean, there is a huge range of ways to describe sex that works, depending on the characters and the author's personal style, etc, etc.