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BRB LOL-ing 4ever
Okay, so the Literary Review has a Bad Sex In Fiction Award that is an attempt to: 'draw attention to the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and to discourage it'.
The shortlisted passages are here.
The best, and by 'best' I mean most atrocious (imho) is this one:
The green cock plunged in and out of the abundant naked body sprawled beneath it, slow at first, then faster and harder, then harder still, and all of Tracy's curves and hollows moved in unison with it. This was not soft porn. This was no longer two unclothed women caressing and kissing on a bed. There was something primitive about it now, this woman-on-woman violence, as though, in the room filled with shadows, Pegeen were a magical composite of shaman, acrobat, and animal. It was as if she were wearing a mask on her genitals, a weird totem mask, that made her into what she was not and was not supposed to be. She could as well have been a crow or a coyote, while simultaneously Pegeen Mike.
There was something dangerous about it. His heart thumped with excitement - the god Pan looking on from a distance with his spying, lascivious gaze.
It was English that Pegeen spoke when she looked over from where she was, now resting on her back beside Tracy, combing the little black cat-o'-nine-tails through Tracy's long hair, and, with that kid-like smile that showed her two front teeth, said to him softly, 'Your turn. Defile her.' She took Tracy by one shoulder, whispered 'Time to change masters,' and gently rolled the stranger's large, warm body toward his.
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I think it's the bonus gender and sexuality fail on top of the bad writing that really makes this passage for me.
The shortlisted passages are here.
The best, and by 'best' I mean most atrocious (imho) is this one:
The green cock plunged in and out of the abundant naked body sprawled beneath it, slow at first, then faster and harder, then harder still, and all of Tracy's curves and hollows moved in unison with it. This was not soft porn. This was no longer two unclothed women caressing and kissing on a bed. There was something primitive about it now, this woman-on-woman violence, as though, in the room filled with shadows, Pegeen were a magical composite of shaman, acrobat, and animal. It was as if she were wearing a mask on her genitals, a weird totem mask, that made her into what she was not and was not supposed to be. She could as well have been a crow or a coyote, while simultaneously Pegeen Mike.
There was something dangerous about it. His heart thumped with excitement - the god Pan looking on from a distance with his spying, lascivious gaze.
It was English that Pegeen spoke when she looked over from where she was, now resting on her back beside Tracy, combing the little black cat-o'-nine-tails through Tracy's long hair, and, with that kid-like smile that showed her two front teeth, said to him softly, 'Your turn. Defile her.' She took Tracy by one shoulder, whispered 'Time to change masters,' and gently rolled the stranger's large, warm body toward his.
~~~~
I think it's the bonus gender and sexuality fail on top of the bad writing that really makes this passage for me.
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It makes me wanna crank out some DECENT porn. For the love of god ... what the hell is that?
I'm stealing this for a project, by the way.
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It makes me wanna crank out some DECENT porn.
Sweet! I have to admit, this was the WRONG thing to read right before my boyfriend came over.
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*is a squeeing mess*
Oh, red, that is SO AWESOME!
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We went to a thanksgiving party put on by a friend of his, and I was introduced as '[real name], my girlfriend' a couple times. Which, you know, totally put a glow on my cheeks.
Still have to keep biting my tongue to keep from bragging, sometimes.
But it is SO AWESOME. He is SO AWESOME. *flails*
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O RLY? DO TELL! :D
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*happy*
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Yaaaaaaaaay.
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It's your moral duty.
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To quote one Dread Pirate: as you wish.
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